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    dots Submission Name: Therein lies Freedomdots

    Author: Porcelaine
    ASL Info:    27/F/Croatia
    Elite Ratio:    3.9 - 880/703/256
    Words: 119
    Class/Type: Poetry/Trapped
    Total Views: 950
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 870


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    dotsTherein lies Freedomdots


    The strong and the weak,
    The wild and the meek -
    We are, my carnivorous trinkets,
    Disaster at it's peek.

    The more - the merrier
    And higher the barrier
    To a one exit freedom escape
    Where the world seems scarier.

    Darker and ghostly,
    Temptation mostly
    And filled with all those tears you've forgotten
    That made it so costly.

    But the freedom is now,
    The question is: how
    To ready your hearts
    For no masters to bow

    And live as you dream it with nothing to vow?

    The strong and the weak,
    The wild and the meek -
    We are, my carnivorous trinkets,
    Disaster at it's peek.


    Submitted on 2008-08-04 20:20:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is an excellent philisophical poem, which I interpret to mean that there is no freedom without risk! And, taking that risk is risking disaster as a consequence. It brings to mind the phrase "at what price freedom"?

    Excellent write, lovely lady! Bravo!

    I have made a living for many years as a self-employed businessman owning my own small business. The risk inherent with self-employment is a constant thing, and during hard or slow times, one is tempted to take the easy way and go back to salaried employment.

    One small correction; peek is correctly spelled peak (if the meaning is top or summit).
    | Posted on 2008-09-27 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a lovely and most stirring poem! It recalled to my mind one of my favorite poems,
    "Dream Pedlary" by Thomas Lovell Beddoes. Though the two poems are different in form there is some mystical connection. A fine, fine, poem! bravo... michael http://oldpoetry.com scam/opoem/5573-Thomas-Lovell-Beddoes-Dream-Pedlary
    | Posted on 2008-09-10 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]
      Delicious! The rhyme is enchanting, tho' agressive 'here and there'... I felt some passion within the poem, that kind of passion that is every day reduced to silence and can find only in poetry... expression.

    "And filled with all those tears you've forgotten
    That made it so costly."

    ... is indeed, as 'said' before, delicios... one can almost float in the weird universe that the lines create.

    Another piece of art, from a piece of heart. :)
    | Posted on 2008-08-06 00:00:00 | by -Lith-Ium- | [ Reply to This ]
      really loved it...good choice of topic and good choice of words!

    i really really loved the whole theme of the poetry....FREEDOM...

    my fav lines:

    1) "And filled with all those tears you've 4gotten
    That made it so costly.

    2)To a one exit freedom escape
    Where the world seems scarier.

    keep it up girl...

    | Posted on 2008-08-05 00:00:00 | by obaid | [ Reply to This ]

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