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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: If You Were Onedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: FallenGrace
    ASL Info:    29 already?/m/ga
    Elite Ratio:    5.67 - 360/375/90
    Words: 85
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 80
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 499



    Description:
       Very first draft


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIf You Were Onedots
    -------------------------------------------


    If you were one and I was three
    and in the middle we should meet
    no longer odd nor lonely we
    would find the even that we seek

    If you were light and I was dark
    and diving like a falling star,
    together we would leave our mark
    aurora sky, our burning heart

    If you were sea and I was shore
    and dancing on the ocean floor
    your tides would wax, my sand would pour
    until the world was nothing more





    Submitted on 2008-08-05 03:19:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I really liked it. Especially the first stanza. How 1 and 3, and the middle is an even number. Very smart, comical too when you think of it.
    Short and Sweet. Really Great. =]
    <3
    | Posted on 2008-10-24 00:00:00 | by BlackWingedAnge | [ Reply to This ]
      You assumed wrongfully.
    | Posted on 2008-08-06 00:00:00 | by JenFlynn | [ Reply to This ]
      oooo...
    could it be love?

    its adorable and completely a blues song waiting to happen if you ask me [im sitting here listening to eva cassidy and tom waits and theyre merging together in my mind... an open invitation to the blues/wade in the water...]

    my favourite but a hundred million miles would have to be the first stanza...
    1 and 3 are prime numbers too... only divisible by itself and one...
    i just like the losing of oddness... i am one of the only single/unmarried persons in my sphere of friends and therefore have "the oddness"
    its also a tricky 1+1= kinda equation

    its just brilliant
    i do hope its love...
    | Posted on 2008-08-05 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really, really good. I found myself caught in each word, even though it wasn't incredibly long.
    You wove those words into a work of art, one that I appreciate very much. I am glad you posted this! I could almost taste the deliciousness of this poem. It's very smooth and well written.

    Keep writing, I am going to fave this!

    Short comment, yes, but I am not one of bountiful words sometimes.

    Peace, Love, and cupcakes.

    -Courtney
    | Posted on 2008-08-05 00:00:00 | by CourtneyLynne | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    12. Does it feel original?



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