What If? -------------------------------------------
I've been restless lately..
Lying awake in bed in a constant state of confusion..
You break down my defenses and make me second guess every step.
I dont know where I am today, but I know you arent here.
I dont remember one step or one leap..
Quiet steps away from your lead..
And each night I wonder why..
And how..
How do you bypass my defenses?
How do you leave me broken and restless?
My gut tells me that now is not the time..
To keep you close but not make you mine..
But if so then why give me the feelings??
Why give me the ache or the craving?
Why point me to a man who I'm not supposed to be with if you're telling me to wait?
Fate..
You're killing me.
You always made me feel like Juliet..
You give me a Romeo and tell me he is not the one..
You give me a country boy and mixed emotions..
Like I'm drifting on an angry ocean..
I'm tossing and turning and breaking into a cold sweat...
Why wont me destiny let me live yet?
Why let me live to cause him pain?
Why give him to me at all?
I have no pride..
Let me fall..
And yet the words do not come..
Is it because of distance that I constantly run?
I've lost him his job..
I've lost him his smile..
I feel as if the highway of life keeps taking me on endless mile after mile..
When will it stop.. ?
When will I have rest?
Am I meant to be with this man you deny me or is it a test?
A test of will?
A test of strength?
A test of how much I can take??
Until I know..
Stop the dreams.
Stop the ache..
And let me be.
Submission Name: What If?
