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    dots Submission Name: Lookdots

    Author: dreamer37517
    ASL Info:    25/F/Bama
    Elite Ratio:    3.82 - 161/149/49
    Words: 76
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 1160
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 552


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    She cries her tears
    To drown the lies.
    Day by day
    Her reality dies.

    Screams out her lungs
    To deafen the pain.
    Behind that smile
    She's quite insane.

    She sits quietly
    In silent anger.
    The truth hurts
    As envy consumes her.

    She breathes it in
    Breathes it out.
    No matter what
    She's filled with doubt.

    Look in her eyes
    Youll see its real.
    She's lost her touch
    She can not feel.

    Submitted on 2008-08-05 07:44:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This was written very well. The flow was a little off in the third stanza, but other than that it was very good.
    I do have to say that it was very vague. You didn't say why she was this way.
    It wasn't completely cliché. Besides everything's been done before anyway.

    It was a great poem. Keep up the awesome work, and I'll keep reading

    | Posted on 2008-08-07 00:00:00 | by MinervaBlu | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice. you did a good job here in explaining the insanity that comes from not being able to express yourself anylonger. the poem has a pretty nice flow. this poem reminds me alot of how i feel. i feel sometimes that i must escape, but i know that would be a bad response to the sensation of feeling helpless. A good response should be holding still and not panicing.
    | Posted on 2008-08-06 00:00:00 | by Bozly | [ Reply to This ]
      hey when the hard times come try to be happy do something to get your mind of it b/c like you wrote the envy consumer her pain can do the same I was once there myself so if writing is the only way to get out then go for it write write and write but don't let the pain and anger win b/c at the end you will be the one who losses .
    well great writing by the way .

    | Posted on 2008-08-05 00:00:00 | by anguished_child | [ Reply to This ]

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