Oh Which Is Me by mon28

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Submission Name: Oh Which Is Me dots

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Author:	mon28
ASL Info:	29 /F /Montana
Elite Ratio:	6.14 - 176/59/14
Words:	152

Class/Type:	Poetry/Love
Total Views:	49
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	893

Description:

Oh Which Is Me dots

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I see things for what they could be
Not for the distress of which they are
I hope for brighter of which never comes
Not even sleep brings me peace

I question every minute detail
Not for the right reasons
I never let the reality of truth be my guide
Not for one second, not in my life

I love like there is nothing to loose
Not that I have ever won
I allow actions and deeds to pass
Not that easy forgiveness is the right answer

I hate the thought of being alone
Not that my loneliness is worse than being two
I feel ashamed of past mistakes
Not that future ones will be any less

I fight for what my passion leads me towards
Not always for what is there
I am nothing more than me
Not that I ever should be

Submitted on 2008-08-05 19:45:24 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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||| Comments |||
This was written very well. I absolutely loved it! I know exactly what you're talking about. Anyway......

The poem was very well written. The flow was nice and the emotion was very noticable.
Keep up the awesome work, and I'll keep reading.

»Haely«
| Posted on 2008-08-07 00:00:00 | by MinervaBlu | [ Reply to This ]
I see things for what they could be,
Not for the distress which they cause.
I hope for brighter, which never comes,
Not even sleep brings me peace.

I question every minute detail,
Not for the right reasons.
I never let the reality of truth be my guide,
Not for one second, not in my life.

I love like there is nothing to lose,
Not that I have ever won.
I allow actions and deeds to pass,
Not that easy forgiveness is the answer.

I hate the thought of being alone,
Not that my loneliness is worse than together.
I feel ashamed of past mistakes,
Not that future ones will be any less likely.

I fight for what my passion leads me towards,
Not always for what is there in front of me.
I am nothing more than myself,
Not that I ever should be.

hmmm... well anyway, just a few ideas and a bit of punctuation. ha! trust me, i am the last person who should be punctuating someone elses work but in this case i think it helps smooth the way it is read. for me anyway.

very confessional and quite depressing. thank goodness for the positive ending!
taking a good long look in the mirror is often the best way to take that first step in the right direction. being able to write it down, bonus!
take care of yourself and thanks for sharing!

~g

| Posted on 2008-08-06 00:00:00 | by grey | [ Reply to This ]

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