Yes it's short. Could it be sharper though? Tempered? Shaped so that when you read it aloud you know you got it right. When you read this can you feel a chill go up your spine? Chest and manifest is a good fit. Head and dead have been paired since B.C. If this was just a practice poem its done if you are passionate take another look at it. Inflect more.
Submission Name: Short and sweet
