Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: He Died Long Agodots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Old
    Elite Ratio:    3.34 - 57/77/62
    Words: 63
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 77
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 506



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHe Died Long Agodots
    -------------------------------------------


    "I'm afraid."
    he would say
    "Make it stop."
    he would beg.

    In the midst
    of the lights,
    sunkissed,
    he arrived
    as a silver blur.

    His thoughts
    he had brought
    to be uncrushed
    from their rot.

    Blood, bile, and mind
    taken from his corpse
    and infinitely refined,
    empowered and re-lit into vim,
    because who he was

    died along with him.




    Submitted on 2008-08-11 18:34:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      My Friend I have got to tell you this write seriously struck a chord in me
    I swear to you I am not this saying this but for some reason this really touched me
    To me you are speaking of someone who has suffered severly on this Earth not neccasarilly from physical pain but perhaps a deep depression
    I thought your last line was perfect
    At his death there was no more pain and finally he felt free
    Excellent job!!!!!!!!!!!
    Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    God Bless
    Ron
    | Posted on 2008-08-23 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    164561



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry