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    dots Submission Name: Fadedots

    Author: skinnard
    ASL Info:    22 male New York
    Elite Ratio:    2.17 - 38/76/49
    Words: 222
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 707
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1508


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Tangled in barbed wire

    As I burst into flames

    My burning desire

    To hold you again

    Patience is fading

    I can't keep waiting

    I'm completely lost inside

    As myself i begin hating

    But it's not my fault

    At least that's what they tell me

    Yet it's all my fault

    They jus dont know it

    But i know the truth behind the devils' pain

    I can feel the acid rain

    Lost in the thought

    As I melt away

    I turned away, you turned away

    It doesnt matter anyway

    I'll take the blame

    I'm tired of these games we play

    I would kill just to be with you

    Yet by your side i'm killing myself

    Doesn't matter, it can't be helped

    Either way I'd be living in hell

    Can't get you out of my mind

    Nor out of my heart

    Can't get you out of my soul

    We'll never be apart

    You'll always be my pain and suffering

    The curse to this life

    For better or worse

    Theres no reason to fight

    No reason to live

    No reason to die

    Losing my mind

    As I fade in this fire

    Submitted on 2008-08-13 05:00:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      the first lines are very well written

    'Tangled in barbed wire

    As I burst into flames

    My burning desire

    To hold you again'


    but walking through, the words more like journaling then a poem ..it's a heart felt words but it's a little bet long ..and need a little work
    you can make it better ..you write well

    | Posted on 2008-08-13 00:00:00 | by muhammed | [ Reply to This ]
      I like it because I can relate to it in my own way, whether I saw it right or not, it's beautiful. Letters are missing at the end of some words, but it didn't make a difference. I still really liked it.

    -Kiyro Blank
    | Posted on 2008-08-13 00:00:00 | by RebornErrors | [ Reply to This ]

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