[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Blissful Torturedots

    Author: dreamer37517
    ASL Info:    25/F/Bama
    Elite Ratio:    3.82 - 161/149/49
    Words: 51
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 1251
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 398

       I know its real simple.
    Just bored one day

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBlissful Torturedots

    Sheets sweaty
    clothes scattered
    minute by minute
    nothing mattered

    face all flushed
    throat so sore
    voice half gone
    screaming for more

    A sensitive spot
    a burning touch
    it feels so good
    almost to much

    You feel the burn
    you feel the strain
    so much pleasure
    just enough pain

    Submitted on 2008-08-13 07:57:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      from the oxymoron in the title to the constant contradictions in the poem...this one is bliss..

    uncomfortable contentment...

    being burned yet feeling hot for one another...the clothes scattered like our love...all over the place...hot and cold...good and bad...but a good bad sometimes...
    physically needing each other but throat sore..perhaps from crying out in passionate moans...or the in-between romantic trysts when we just knock down drag out fight with each other...

    can't live with you and can't live without you..

    i like the brevity of the lines...allows us in at our own pace...

    | Posted on 2011-03-18 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      Hi! kindly tell me what gave you the inspiration to write this poem?
    | Posted on 2008-10-24 00:00:00 | by Nightrider | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this one a lot. As you have said it yourself it is very simple yet very well written.
    I enjoyed reading it.

    With love

    | Posted on 2008-09-10 00:00:00 | by shabnam | [ Reply to This ]
      I think it has plenty of mental picture, poet09 just doesn't have any imagination. I think it's perfect. Small misspelling in the third stanza, (too) but other than that little nitpicking it's absolutly great. Definately fav worthy.

    The Bird
    | Posted on 2008-08-21 00:00:00 | by Swimming Bird | [ Reply to This ]
      So simple and staight to the point. I like the simplicity of this but i think that u could maybe have put a little more writing into this and give your readers more of a mental picture. Other than that good write
    | Posted on 2008-08-16 00:00:00 | by poet09 | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]