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Breathing


Author: MysterydarkPoet
ASL Info:    20/f/Aust
Elite Ratio:    3.13 - 157 /295 /173
Words: 226
Class/Type: Poetry /Depressed
Total Views: 736
Average Vote:    5.0000
Bytes: 1469



Description:




Breathing



I sat on the rooftop
as tears spilled onto your letter.
it's been almost 3 months now
and things aren't getting any better
since we said our all goodbyes
it's getting harder to play pretend
and harder to have to lie
but while the world just moves around me
and my life just passes by
I think of everything i should have let go
but i just can't let you die

and i just keep breathing.

i can't imagine a sadder scene
as i stand alone under these fireworks
that light up the night sky above me
it's getting colder and colder out here
and i think it's not just the snow
it's something about this winter night
that chills me to the bone
everything i do is reminding me of you
this anniversary will never change
my living room will never be the same.
and it's killing me so good.

but i keep breathing.

i miss the late nights & driving me home
listening to the songs only we would know
the messing around and pillow fights
the long talks that went into the night.
the drinking that got us thinking
of a future that held just us two
but it's getting harder everyday
to just keep breathing.

but i just keep breathing.

and i wish i wouldn't.




Submitted on 2008-08-14 09:02:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  I like the way this is written for the most part (aside from adding, or taking out a word here and there), and i like the imagery, and how it plays out a story. Kept my interest pretty well, but it seemed lacking of something extra (though i dont know what, sorry), for that little "extra spark" at times.
| Posted on 2008-08-16 00:00:00 | by hybridsongwrite | [ Reply to This ]
  Bittersweet memories of a lost love... you've captured the loneliness and despair very well with your choice of words and also the spacing between the stanzas.

I like the recurring reference to "I jest keep breathing"... there's no getting out of it is there? As long as you are alive you will breath and every breath will bring back the haunting memories...

Very well written!
| Posted on 2008-08-14 00:00:00 | by Beulah | [ Reply to This ]


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