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    dots Submission Name: "Forever Young"dots

    Author: Ron Cole
    Elite Ratio:    3.95 - 2383/1715/240
    Words: 99
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1937
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 698

       This is dedicated to Lou (elseibi) here at Elite, who tragically lost her best friend recently.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots"Forever Young"dots

    I couldn't envision us growing old,
    although I knew we would.
    I thought we'd be young forever,
    and have fun like best friends should!

    But, today you left this earth
    to take your place in Heaven!
    You'll be among the Angels,
    with all your sins forgiven.

    You'll always have a place
    where we'll never be apart!
    You'll always have a home
    here in your best friend's heart.

    And, while I grow older here on Earth
    until my work is done,
    you'll always be the same,
    and will be forever young!

    Ron Cole
    May 2008

    Submitted on 2008-08-16 19:35:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      My parents, three brothers and two sisters have left this world, yet still they live in the hearts of the remaining children.
    This was well and beautifully written Ron, thank you.

    I will be reading your other poems and writing and will not expect an answering responce. You have givin this old man some lovely poems to read and visits to different lands.
    | Posted on 2011-05-03 00:00:00 | by DUSTYTU | [ Reply to This ]
      I was reading some bigtime American poets like Lowell and Ginsberg, who evidently had a license to write as many pages as they felt like about trivial personal experiences ... okay, better poetry-lovers than I am just love them; but what I mean is, most readers probably like your sort of frankly sentimental, clear language, lyrical approach to poetry, and that's what I'm enjoying as I read your stuff. From "You have become the wind", I got an evening of remembering my own bereavements, during which I made sonnets for my late parents: the first time I've been able to do so. That's an example of a poem being successful, which is all you want from it, I guess!

    This poem is the same type of evokation, in a different verse-form. It makes its effects using a different set of techniques! I know we write largely by intuition - but it's fascinating to become aware of the techniques we're discovering!

    What I notice about bereavements, is that folk always express appreciation for being left with the memory of the dead: a whole life complete, and its value in your custody. People are all carrying around dead people and speaking for them now and then; that's why I believe in spirits although I don't believe in supernatural beings! Your bereavement poems are about the dead "surviving" because their loved ones survive them: at the roots of
    your poems' open-hearted sentimentality is a deep and important philosophy or natural faith, the hallmark of your verse.

    I always used to despair of my verse, because I reckon I write platitudes or smartass remarks, but nothing original except some quirky language. But when I read other poets, I go: who cares? Usually, it's not the new thing that needs to be said afresh - it's the old and permanent things!

    The technique I noticed here is the way you have practiced varying the metre, the stresses, the syllable count, in each line so as to make it sound out appropriately to what it's saying. Some strict rule for the ballad quattrains is thus used as a base for the art of modulating it. Another versifying poet, like me, gets a lot of entertainment out of how you and others go about doing that, and the distinctive patterns that result. #
    | Posted on 2008-11-21 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]
      wow...that is so touching and beautiful. it reminds me of my friends that i have lost. makes me feel better too. thanks!

    great job it was worded just wonderfully
    | Posted on 2008-09-26 00:00:00 | by twistedchick | [ Reply to This ]
      And extremely touching, poignant beautifully concieved and brilliantly executed tribute poem! Just wonderful no matter how you look at it! I loved it, loved it! bravo... bravo... bravo....
    | Posted on 2008-08-26 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]
    Stunning and Perfectly Said
    The Rod Stewart song with this title is my Very Favorite song ever so I had to see what you wrote with the title
    I have to admit you never let me down
    Every one of your writes is from the Heart the same way I write and you my Friend have become an expert at it
    Great Job as Always
    Looking forward to more soon
    Im making this one another favorite from you
    I Lost a Best Friend at 23 to a car accident and this reminded me of the Friendship we Shared
    Thanks Ron!!!!!!!!!!!
    God Bless
    | Posted on 2008-08-25 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      Very beautifully expressed, Ron. I'm certain Lou really appreciates this lovely tribute to her friend and the close friendship they shared. Sharon
    | Posted on 2008-08-18 00:00:00 | by Peggy Paris | [ Reply to This ]
      Thankyou - I bet if she could've read it she'd have loved it as much as i do x

    | Posted on 2008-08-16 00:00:00 | by elseibi | [ Reply to This ]

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