Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: "Forever Young"dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Ron Cole
    Elite Ratio:    3.95 - 2383/1715/240
    Words: 99
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1245
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 698



    Description:
       This is dedicated to Lou (elseibi) here at Elite, who tragically lost her best friend recently.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots"Forever Young"dots
    -------------------------------------------


    I couldn't envision us growing old,
    although I knew we would.
    I thought we'd be young forever,
    and have fun like best friends should!

    But, today you left this earth
    to take your place in Heaven!
    You'll be among the Angels,
    with all your sins forgiven.

    You'll always have a place
    where we'll never be apart!
    You'll always have a home
    here in your best friend's heart.

    And, while I grow older here on Earth
    until my work is done,
    you'll always be the same,
    and will be forever young!

    Ron Cole
    May 2008




    Submitted on 2008-08-16 19:35:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      My parents, three brothers and two sisters have left this world, yet still they live in the hearts of the remaining children.
    This was well and beautifully written Ron, thank you.

    I will be reading your other poems and writing and will not expect an answering responce. You have givin this old man some lovely poems to read and visits to different lands.
    | Posted on 2011-05-03 00:00:00 | by DUSTYTU | [ Reply to This ]
      I was reading some bigtime American poets like Lowell and Ginsberg, who evidently had a license to write as many pages as they felt like about trivial personal experiences ... okay, better poetry-lovers than I am just love them; but what I mean is, most readers probably like your sort of frankly sentimental, clear language, lyrical approach to poetry, and that's what I'm enjoying as I read your stuff. From "You have become the wind", I got an evening of remembering my own bereavements, during which I made sonnets for my late parents: the first time I've been able to do so. That's an example of a poem being successful, which is all you want from it, I guess!

    This poem is the same type of evokation, in a different verse-form. It makes its effects using a different set of techniques! I know we write largely by intuition - but it's fascinating to become aware of the techniques we're discovering!

    What I notice about bereavements, is that folk always express appreciation for being left with the memory of the dead: a whole life complete, and its value in your custody. People are all carrying around dead people and speaking for them now and then; that's why I believe in spirits although I don't believe in supernatural beings! Your bereavement poems are about the dead "surviving" because their loved ones survive them: at the roots of
    your poems' open-hearted sentimentality is a deep and important philosophy or natural faith, the hallmark of your verse.

    I always used to despair of my verse, because I reckon I write platitudes or smartass remarks, but nothing original except some quirky language. But when I read other poets, I go: who cares? Usually, it's not the new thing that needs to be said afresh - it's the old and permanent things!

    The technique I noticed here is the way you have practiced varying the metre, the stresses, the syllable count, in each line so as to make it sound out appropriately to what it's saying. Some strict rule for the ballad quattrains is thus used as a base for the art of modulating it. Another versifying poet, like me, gets a lot of entertainment out of how you and others go about doing that, and the distinctive patterns that result. #
    | Posted on 2008-11-21 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]
      wow...that is so touching and beautiful. it reminds me of my friends that i have lost. makes me feel better too. thanks!

    great job it was worded just wonderfully
    | Posted on 2008-09-26 00:00:00 | by twistedchick | [ Reply to This ]
      And extremely touching, poignant beautifully concieved and brilliantly executed tribute poem! Just wonderful no matter how you look at it! I loved it, loved it! bravo... bravo... bravo....
    | Posted on 2008-08-26 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]
      Ron
    Stunning and Perfectly Said
    The Rod Stewart song with this title is my Very Favorite song ever so I had to see what you wrote with the title
    I have to admit you never let me down
    Every one of your writes is from the Heart the same way I write and you my Friend have become an expert at it
    Great Job as Always
    Looking forward to more soon
    Im making this one another favorite from you
    I Lost a Best Friend at 23 to a car accident and this reminded me of the Friendship we Shared
    GOD BLESS YOU DENNIS I LOVE AND MISS YOU DEARLY
    Thanks Ron!!!!!!!!!!!
    God Bless
    Ron
    | Posted on 2008-08-25 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      Very beautifully expressed, Ron. I'm certain Lou really appreciates this lovely tribute to her friend and the close friendship they shared. Sharon
    | Posted on 2008-08-18 00:00:00 | by Peggy Paris | [ Reply to This ]
      Thankyou - I bet if she could've read it she'd have loved it as much as i do x

    ~Lou~
    | Posted on 2008-08-16 00:00:00 | by elseibi | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    164713

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    The World written by jjd
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry