"Forever Young" by Ron Cole

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Submission Name: "Forever Young" dots

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Author:	Ron Cole
Elite Ratio:	3.87 - 1932/1321/203
Words:	99

Class/Type:	Poetry/Serious
Total Views:	204
Average Vote:	4.0000
Bytes:	698

Description:
This is dedicated to Lou (elseibi) here at Elite, who tragically lost her best friend recently.

"Forever Young" dots

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I couldn't envision us growing old,
although I knew we would.
I thought we'd be young forever,
and have fun like best friends should!

But, today you left this earth
to take your place in Heaven!
You'll be among the Angels,
with all your sins forgiven.

You'll always have a place
where we'll never be apart!
You'll always have a home
here in your best friend's heart.

And, while I grow older here on Earth
until my work is done,
you'll always be the same,
and will be forever young!

Ron Cole
May 2008

Submitted on 2008-08-16 19:35:01 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  I was reading some bigtime American poets like Lowell and Ginsberg, who evidently had a license to write as many pages as they felt like about trivial personal experiences ... okay, better poetry-lovers than I am just love them; but what I mean is, most readers probably like your sort of frankly sentimental, clear language, lyrical approach to poetry, and that's what I'm enjoying as I read your stuff. From "You have become the wind", I got an evening of remembering my own bereavements, during which I made sonnets for my late parents: the first time I've been able to do so. That's an example of a poem being successful, which is all you want from it, I guess!

This poem is the same type of evokation, in a different verse-form. It makes its effects using a different set of techniques! I know we write largely by intuition - but it's fascinating to become aware of the techniques we're discovering!

What I notice about bereavements, is that folk always express appreciation for being left with the memory of the dead: a whole life complete, and its value in your custody. People are all carrying around dead people and speaking for them now and then; that's why I believe in spirits although I don't believe in supernatural beings! Your bereavement poems are about the dead "surviving" because their loved ones survive them: at the roots of
your poems' open-hearted sentimentality is a deep and important philosophy or natural faith, the hallmark of your verse.

I always used to despair of my verse, because I reckon I write platitudes or smartass remarks, but nothing original except some quirky language. But when I read other poets, I go: who cares? Usually, it's not the new thing that needs to be said afresh - it's the old and permanent things!

The technique I noticed here is the way you have practiced varying the metre, the stresses, the syllable count, in each line so as to make it sound out appropriately to what it's saying. Some strict rule for the ballad quattrains is thus used as a base for the art of modulating it. Another versifying poet, like me, gets a lot of entertainment out of how you and others go about doing that, and the distinctive patterns that result. #
| Posted on 2008-11-21 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]
  wow...that is so touching and beautiful. it reminds me of my friends that i have lost. makes me feel better too. thanks!

great job it was worded just wonderfully
| Posted on 2008-09-26 00:00:00 | by twistedchick | [ Reply to This ]
  And extremely touching, poignant beautifully concieved and brilliantly executed tribute poem! Just wonderful no matter how you look at it! I loved it, loved it! bravo... bravo... bravo....
| Posted on 2008-08-26 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]
  Ron
Stunning and Perfectly Said
The Rod Stewart song with this title is my Very Favorite song ever so I had to see what you wrote with the title
I have to admit you never let me down
Every one of your writes is from the Heart the same way I write and you my Friend have become an expert at it
Great Job as Always
Looking forward to more soon
Im making this one another favorite from you
I Lost a Best Friend at 23 to a car accident and this reminded me of the Friendship we Shared
GOD BLESS YOU DENNIS I LOVE AND MISS YOU DEARLY
Thanks Ron!!!!!!!!!!!
God Bless
Ron
| Posted on 2008-08-25 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
  Very beautifully expressed, Ron. I'm certain Lou really appreciates this lovely tribute to her friend and the close friendship they shared. Sharon
| Posted on 2008-08-18 00:00:00 | by Peggy Paris | [ Reply to This ]
  Thankyou - I bet if she could've read it she'd have loved it as much as i do x

~Lou~
| Posted on 2008-08-16 00:00:00 | by elseibi | [ Reply to This ]

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