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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: wordyb
    ASL Info:    19/male/ Illinois
    Elite Ratio:    3 - 15/8/18
    Words: 153
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Love
    Total Views: 167
    Average Vote:    4.5000
    Bytes: 724



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYoudots
    -------------------------------------------


    Below the surface of my mind. Below all the facts, emotions and thoughts lies you. When my mind is weary and I began to drift into space. You are there. Does it mean that you have infiltrated my very being? Have you really left such an impact in my life? I try to cut free but I am always a slave to you memories. I am always at the mercy of you. I thirst for just a word from you and hang on all your words. I realize everything is about you, it always was. Am I doing anything for me anymore? Everything I do is to better my chances of making an impact on you. So is my existence all meaningless, if I live my life for you. Then who is going to live my life for me? It was you; it was always You and You It will always be




    Submitted on 2008-08-17 19:44:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I had a little nitpicking to do, but since you've requested thoughts as preferred commentary, I'll give my thoughts on what you've written about.
    Sometimes it can be very difficult to move on from a relationship, and really, nothing but time can help people move on. I would say the best thing to do is avoid serious relationships until you know you've found the right person. If things go wrong then, at least you know you had a good time with the person. Never let someone control your life, or have an impact on you unless you trust them entirely and you know they would never do anything to hurt you. Some people just like to play with others, try and avoid them. After reading this, I was slightly confused why you capitalized "You" towards the end of the poem. Was there any purpose behind this? I would advise you to read this over since I saw a couple of typos and punctuation errors. Thanks for sharing n welcome to the site,


    Abbas
    | Posted on 2008-08-24 00:00:00 | by abuzzbuzz92 | [ Reply to This ]



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