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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I thought, but thought wrongdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Lilyan
    ASL Info:    1 Elite Years
    Elite Ratio:    2.56 - 42/38/26
    Words: 123
    Class/Type: Misc/Serious
    Total Views: 158
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 827



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI thought, but thought wrongdots
    -------------------------------------------


    When I first saw you,
    after one year.
    Then I thought that
    you haven't changed
    I thought you are still the nicest
    thought that
    sensible and decent
    you are.
    I thought that everything
    is the same.
    But no, when the night came
    I saw you drinking poison with others
    you was insane and rebellious
    you changed colors like chameleon
    you was like other jerks in the group.
    You had changed totally
    but still said sorry to me,
    you knew that I didn't liked it
    and you really didn't seemed to enjoy
    that I watched this all.
    Iwas speechless when looked at you
    how you was acting
    how just couldn't stop the drinking.
    I was just
    disappointed.




    Submitted on 2008-08-21 08:49:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Interesting style! Try to change some of the words a little so that it can flow smooth. At some points it gets choppy but I liked it a lot.
    | Posted on 2008-08-21 00:00:00 | by wordyb | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



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