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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: mistakes are proving grounds.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: caster
    ASL Info:    31.M.MO
    Elite Ratio:    3.34 - 136/280/161
    Words: 233
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Misc
    Total Views: 1170
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1459



    Description:
       about: living; not just navigating life.

    feedback: all feedback welcome.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsmistakes are proving grounds.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    and iíd give up breathing,
    if it meant youíd take it up again
    donít you know this room keeps spinning,
    to keep your heart from slowing down

    and iíd set myself on fire,
    just to see the lite back in your eyes
    donít you go on believing this is the end,
    thereís hope falling from these burned out skies

    i swear thereís more than what youíve seen
    the blood in your veins is not just for show
    i know youíve heard a thousand different things
    just give me a chance and i'll tell you everything

    and let the voices quiet now,
    racing thoughts need a resting place
    donít you forget that forgetting comes too easy,
    itís remembering that will break your fragile bones

    and iíd take bad intentions to this wrist,
    if these blood cells were made for cleansing
    donít you buy in to the cheapest of answers,
    forgive yourself and breathe in new beginnings

    i swear thereís more than what youíve seen
    the blood in your veins is not just for show
    i know youíve heard a thousand different things
    just give me a chance and i'll tell you everything

    i swear thereís more than what youíve seen
    the blood in your veins is not just for show
    i know youíve heard a thousand different things
    just give me a chance and i'll tell you everything




    Submitted on 2008-08-22 03:04:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wow I haven't been on eliteskills too much recently and I came on just because I havent been a great mood and I was looking for any sort of poetry that would get my mind off of it. What I didnt realize was that this poem was exactly what I was looking for.

    To me its about cheering someone up, someone who hasn't had faith in life for a while. Someone who keeps getting let down. Kinda like how I have been feeling. The first two stanzas have the best flow of the poem and I really like the beauty in them and the selflessness but its the rest of the poem that got more too me. Because the beginning is romance, the rest is this sort of anger for letting the world let her down. Well I am just gonna call her a girl because thats the sense I got.

    The lines about the blood in your veins kind of translated to cutting for me. Which I guess was your intention? Well maybe not but there are plenty of people dealing with that nowadays, myself a former cutter, is always struggling with it. Everyday.

    My favorite line was

    'and let the voices quiet now,
    racing thoughts need a resting place
    donít you forget that forgetting comes too easy,
    itís remembering that will break your fragile bones'

    The flow isnt quite amazing but the words really spoke to me. Theres so much that races through all of our heads, its hard to sort out, especially to those who have been hurt a few too many times. And it hurts to remember but thats all we are left to do to help ourselves in the future because we know we won't survive if we are hurt again. So we just try to keep standing and hope it gets us somewhere in the end.

    I also liked the repitition of:

    'i swear thereís more than what youíve seen
    the blood in your veins is not just for show
    i know youíve heard a thousand different things
    just give me a chance and i'll tell you everything'

    because it just emphasizes the point that she is still living because there is more out there and you are ready to show that too her. That is not all about pain, there is beauty in the world and you are going to light her up with it and help her to continue.

    I just wish someone could be here to convince me of those words.

    Brilliant write. Keep it up.

    ~flora~
    | Posted on 2008-08-23 00:00:00 | by blankscreen | [ Reply to This ]


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    164868

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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