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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: In View of Utter Griefdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: The Gadfly
    ASL Info:    52/M/Moreno Valley, CA
    Elite Ratio:    3.55 - 1048/1348/375
    Words: 92
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 736
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 646



    Description:
       A sonnet about grief.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIn View of Utter Griefdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Who has not stared in disbelief
    upon the stark and empty chair
    which now, in view of utter grief,

    seems cold and cruel and bitter-bare?
    The open wound cannot congeal,
    left unattended through despair.

    Observe the slightest brush can peel
    and pull upon the closing scar
    regardless of the look or feel.

    This pain, in loss, however far
    removed from tragedy’s dark spree;
    a ship lodged fast upon this spar,

    may yet release from starboard lee
    down tributaries to the sea.




    The Gadfly




    Submitted on 2008-08-23 06:46:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      47 views and no comments?? Tut, tut! Right, I shall give you mine:

    I liked this piece. I thought it was quite original and I liked the language you used. I felt "upon the stark and empty chair" was a nice line.

    The structure puzzled me a little though, it seemed disjointed and didn't flow properly, but perhaps this is a style of writing I'm not familiar with.

    Alex
    | Posted on 2008-12-09 00:00:00 | by alexboy | [ Reply to This ]


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