Tell Me

Author: vampirefreak69 Elite Ratio:    2.14 - 30 /103 /87 Words: 80

Class/Type: Poetry /Love Total Views: 899 Average Vote:    No vote yet. Bytes: 481

Description:

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Tell Me

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Tell me how to tell you that I love you. Is there a certain song, a certain way? 'Cause it's been years and it's been years and I'm getting pretty sure that it's your eyes that can take my breath away. Tell me how to tell you that I love you. I've started it a hundred different ways. So I open up my mouth, and the words get halfway out but I choke and have to walk away.

Submitted on 2008-08-24 22:53:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments

Felt like this could've been better if it had been longer and maybe gave a deeper view into the frustration that the speaker has for not being able to tell the object of his/her affection that he/she is in love with them. The last line of the first stanza was my favorite, also liked how you ask if there is a certain song or certain way to tell the person you're in love with them (maybe this could be elaborated on or investigated?). Also thought the last line would maybe read better if it was just "but I choke and have to walk away" or "but I choke and then have to walk away." Not bad though

| Posted on 2008-08-25 00:00:00 | by bkj43 | [ Reply to This ]

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