Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A nature poem whose structure is concurrent chaosdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Colten
    ASL Info:    19/Man?lol/U of I
    Elite Ratio:    3.05 - 62/99/43
    Words: 123
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 626
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 927



    Description:
       These are actually thoughts and questions while considering man's ever changing opinion on nature.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA nature poem whose structure is concurrent chaosdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Oh, the hills, gorgeous and green
    The wheat and barley constantly seen
    To shimmer golden
    And nature exposed, so inviting

    This is pastoral

    Oh, the hills, shrivelled and shrinking
    The wheat and barley slowly sinking
    In earthen tones
    And nature exposed, not inviting

    What is pastoral

    These ideas of pastoral and savage death
    Are opposites co-existing
    For before this modern era man feared
    The forests, mother nature a cruel hag

    Now man hikes for exercise
    And enjoys it.

    Transcendentalism, hahahahahahahaha
    Yet, tree huggers have a point to make
    And truth it contains
    sometimes...depending on one's opinion

    To return to the forest man was never in
    In the beginning
    How absurd

    How primordial, indeed.




    Submitted on 2008-08-28 16:30:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Well Nice one I picked up for reading

    1. You should really put in braces at the end of the poem what "Transcendentalism" means. I had to do a search which made me lose the flow of the poem.

    2. Nice change in poetic stances. That was quite interesting. But there was this one sentence that felt like a forced rhyme.
    " green
    The wheat and barley constantly seen"

    Other than that good writing.
    | Posted on 2008-08-31 00:00:00 | by keestu | [ Reply to This ]
      I love how your thoughts go full circle in this cleverly crafted poem! You taken a complex rhyming technique and fine tuned it so that it carries the reader effortlessly through the stanzas. I'm not really one for long poems or anything that rhymes but I enjoyed the way you've put this together.

    Very well written!
    | Posted on 2008-08-28 00:00:00 | by Beulah | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    165029

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Carry written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Records I written by Raphael
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    prison written by ShyOne
    Cover written by saartha
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The World written by jjd
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry