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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I was once onedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: grimmreaper
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 122/43/23
    Words: 236
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/
    Total Views: 787
    Average Vote:    4.5000
    Bytes: 1521



    Description:
       dont know how to discribe this. I guess its the words that I have been crying to write.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI was once onedots
    -------------------------------------------


    I was once one.
    Always taking the rout of the knife,
    to cure the dark pain inside of me.
    Leaning on the feeling of the sharp silvery edge,
    to take away my darkness inside.

    I once was numb,
    unable to feel a thing,
    not able to tell from life and death.
    Lost without words,
    and alive with no feeling,
    with only the blade to awaken me,
    for just a moment.

    Life was once gone,
    I wasn't able to see
    Trapped in the darkness forever
    seeing only darkness
    and feeling only emptiness.
    Alone with one to hear me shout,
    but the sharp blade
    that was hidden under my pillow.

    I once had tears that I
    was unable to cry.
    Pain,
    I was once unable to let free
    Dark thoughts that where trapped
    inside my mind
    haunting me for days.

    Cutting,
    was once my only friend,
    my only feeling
    And my own blood,
    as my tears and pain,
    bleeding out of me
    and setting me free.

    The very carvings in my flesh
    the long deep lines in my legs
    the scared of my pain,
    tell the story of my life
    and the journey I had
    through my dark paths of my life.
    Reminds me of the time,
    that I traveled through the roads
    of no light
    no feeling
    and no joy.

    They remind me
    That I am Alive.





    Submitted on 2008-08-28 17:50:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      it really captures the feel of pain...i think you did a great job expressing your feelings. I like it! I'll give you a 4
    | Posted on 2009-08-04 00:00:00 | by coloredstone | [ Reply to This ]
      What can I say you are living another version of my life i swear to you. In a few of your posts I've mentioned i can relate but those I didn't mention it I felt like that would get annoying to hear or make you think I am boasting to some extent. So i figured I wouldn't mention that I can understand your feelings and thoughts because I have gone through the same time.

    Although now I cannot bit my lip any longer this post has me just in AWWW like wow there are only 5 other comments there should be at least 100 no doubt. I wouldn't change a thing on this post I am telling you everything every word every thought every metaphors in here is perfect absolute perfect i love this

    Jackz
    | Posted on 2009-07-26 00:00:00 | by jackz | [ Reply to This ]
      This is so raw, it's painful to read, and that's excellent. It describes the experiences of many and is true to its subject. It's hard to find a good, uncensored poem about cutting, and this is uncensored and pretty good.

    Shadow
    | Posted on 2008-12-06 00:00:00 | by Shadowstar13 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is wonderful. I can relate to the feelings and its really deep. keep writing
    | Posted on 2008-11-09 00:00:00 | by StainedxBlades | [ Reply to This ]
      I just came to the realization that you are only 16. You write with great depth and clarity uncommon to youth.
    | Posted on 2008-09-11 00:00:00 | by nicodemous | [ Reply to This ]
      sometimes scars are carried deeper in us and we need a way to get them out...
    to see them heal...

    alive are we?
    whats being alive mean?
    | Posted on 2008-09-09 00:00:00 | by rubymoon | [ Reply to This ]
      I think that as a poem it could use some work but it seems almost rude to say something like that when you are just expressing how you feel. because you just take pen to paper, or fingers to keys, and let what you feel spill out in whatever form it takes. it's raw and true and passionate, and sometimes just can't be critiqued.

    I feel your passion.

    --Oli
    | Posted on 2008-09-01 00:00:00 | by Oli | [ Reply to This ]
      Grimm Reaper, this is your other half. I think that you can do better. Sure you do describe a little bit how you felt as a cutter, but you just don't form the words rite. They sound funny, and they don't have full emotion. It needs more, you need to try harder. But its not all that bad, so don't feel to horrible. At least you wrote somthing.

    Grimm R, your other half
    | Posted on 2008-08-28 00:00:00 | by grimmreaper | [ Reply to This ]


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