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    dots Submission Name: Twitchydots

    Author: Wolfe
    Elite Ratio:    4.64 - 62/94/25
    Words: 70
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1062
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 483

       I'll let you decide what it's about. Please tell me what you got out of the language and if there's anything that would make it better.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Sallow sorrows sing
    their sickly yellow blues;
    they jaundice thoughts in jars
    of tars
    of varied rainbow hues.

    From the swirling thick,
    I extricate,
    a plate
    of fate,
    of dirge and wake.

    Why choose the bleak
    that reek,
    when thereís a spectrum,
    given me?
    I do not know,
    Nor wish to think.

    I feel Iím tripping
    at the brink.

    Submitted on 2008-08-29 18:28:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      With all sincerity I must confess that the first time I read it I didn't quite understand that much, it might have been lack of concentration or something like that but I absolutely adored the sound of it, the impecable flow and rhyme. Nowadays it's hard to pick a type of rhyme that's not considered outdated and old-fashioned, that's why many just don't bother, but yours is perfect and refreshing.
    Now for my actual interpretation...it seems to me as if your poem is like a short look inside the mind of a person tormented by intangible thoughts that wishes to figure out where their life is heading but doesn't have the necesarry disposition to do so. A description of that state I'm sure we've all experienced when we're too tired to think of tomorrow. I also gather that the person in question wants a better life and more success while simoultaneously falling over the edge.
    I hope I got at least something right. :)
    Anyway, beautiful poem, terrific ending.
    Lotsa love,
    | Posted on 2008-08-31 00:00:00 | by Angie444 | [ Reply to This ]

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