Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Twitchydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Wolfe
    Elite Ratio:    4.64 - 62/94/25
    Words: 70
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1062
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 483



    Description:
       I'll let you decide what it's about. Please tell me what you got out of the language and if there's anything that would make it better.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTwitchydots
    -------------------------------------------



    Sallow sorrows sing
    their sickly yellow blues;
    they jaundice thoughts in jars
    of tars
    of varied rainbow hues.

    From the swirling thick,
    I extricate,
    a plate
    of fate,
    of dirge and wake.

    Why choose the bleak
    that reek,
    when thereís a spectrum,
    given me?
    I do not know,
    Nor wish to think.

    I feel Iím tripping
    at the brink.




    Submitted on 2008-08-29 18:28:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      With all sincerity I must confess that the first time I read it I didn't quite understand that much, it might have been lack of concentration or something like that but I absolutely adored the sound of it, the impecable flow and rhyme. Nowadays it's hard to pick a type of rhyme that's not considered outdated and old-fashioned, that's why many just don't bother, but yours is perfect and refreshing.
    Now for my actual interpretation...it seems to me as if your poem is like a short look inside the mind of a person tormented by intangible thoughts that wishes to figure out where their life is heading but doesn't have the necesarry disposition to do so. A description of that state I'm sure we've all experienced when we're too tired to think of tomorrow. I also gather that the person in question wants a better life and more success while simoultaneously falling over the edge.
    I hope I got at least something right. :)
    Anyway, beautiful poem, terrific ending.
    Lotsa love,
    Angie
    | Posted on 2008-08-31 00:00:00 | by Angie444 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    165079

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry