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    dots Submission Name: Blocked Eyesdots

    Author: essence of life
    Elite Ratio:    3.09 - 33/38/21
    Words: 276
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 629
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1534


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBlocked Eyesdots

    A mind as sharp as harden adamant.

    A heart more pure then gold.

    As handsome as any movie star. But in his eyes you see nothing.

    Eyes cold as snow with visions of the world.He sees the suffering and shares your pain.

    But no one excepts him. Hes shunned from the world hoping optimistically that he'll find someone like him.

    As he searches acceptance he slowly changes inside.His hearts purity turns too dust.

    His diamond sharp mind dulls as the seconds roll past.

    As these changes happen to him without his knowledge he finds someone he believes he has everything in common she sees hes not her one.

    He lost himself in his blizzard of life and now hes all alone in the cold dulled and withered sick as he can be.

    On the day he was destined too quit he awoke and felt a stare from behind.

    He turned too face himself. He focused on the eyes and saw the snow was gone.

    The eyes that looked at him had the look of hatred he developed for the world.

    A look the world had for him.

    Then a tear crossed his cheek he was furious and blinded by hatred instead of pain he felt.

    He went numb but boiled an incredible heat as he punched the glass and watched it shatter.

    He screamed in pain and laid on the floor crying.

    When he opened is eyes and saw into the shattered glass he hated so.

    Submitted on 2008-08-30 01:27:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Wow, reading this... I can completely connect with that. I've seen this happen to many people, and I did really enjoy reading over this, you see... I have never been able to put that affect to words, but I liked the way you put it... ALLOT!
    Just one little thing... Punctuation, I can be sort of a grammar freak, and the fact that there was no... Capitalization and no paragraphing... *shudders*
    A little red flag went up x)
    Other than that I liked how you put the ending, the last sentence was probably my favorite, so yeah... Keep it up!
    <3 lens.
    | Posted on 2008-08-31 00:00:00 | by Pinky345 | [ Reply to This ]

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