Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Darknessdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: faideddarkness
    ASL Info:    28 - Male - Idaho
    Elite Ratio:    6.47 - 99/55/49
    Words: 197
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 571
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1388



    Description:
       my first one


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDarknessdots
    -------------------------------------------


    This darkness is coming so fast....

    Breathing is becoming such a task....

    The darkness is closing in ....

    I don't know if I can survive ....

    Nothing to keep me alive ....

    now comes the pain ....

    I don't know how much lonnger I can remain....

    .. ..

    Whatching my tears fall like rain....

    As my heart pounds like the beat of a drum....

    Now comes the pain....

    The darkness still growing within....

    It's almost here, I'm almost gone ....

    One last beat before I'm done....

    .. ..

    My mind is aching ....

    My body 's shaking ....

    And My heart is still breaking....

    That pounding in my chest is lessening more and more....

    .. ..

    Here comes the darkness as it closes in ....

    I can't see, I can't breath ....

    My mind is caving in ....

    It's almost black it's almost dark....

    I'm almost gone here comes the pain....

    It's so dark theres nothing but black....

    I'ts almost here, im almost gone....

    Now comes the pain....





    Submitted on 2008-08-30 23:07:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Nice Dude, I have no clue what to say to you, besides, like all the other poems you wrote and let me read, i have no clue what it is about, but it sounds awsome. And of course you are probably disapointed that I was the one commenting and not some other person, but o well, You will live. HA HA!
    Loves

    Grimm R.
    | Posted on 2008-09-04 00:00:00 | by grimmreaper | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    165122

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Fasade written by jackz
    Linger written by saartha
    Every..... written by jackz
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    The Promise written by annie0888
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    One Day written by WriteSomething
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    True Death written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Giving written by jjd
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry