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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: pulsedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: informations
    ASL Info:    24/F
    Elite Ratio:    2.84 - 22/20/25
    Words: 96
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 583
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 518



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotspulsedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Took one last look back and stepped away
    Lost all sight of what you would ever say

    You know there will never again be any way
    For you to make me even think that I should stay

    I will find what lights up my world
    And I will no longer be your girl

    I will be so far from you
    You will have to wonder if it all was ever true

    Tonight I will be lying with some one else
    Next to some one alive, some one with a pulse





    Submitted on 2008-08-31 15:13:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I agree with Moaxcym, it does seem a little forced but I have a few suggestions to help it flow better.

    "Took one last look and stepped away
    Lost all sight of what you'd say

    You know there will never be any way
    For you to make me think that I should stay"
    | Posted on 2008-08-31 00:00:00 | by Pinky345 | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the last two lines the best.
    Just a piece of advise! try not to rhyme. Even if not the case, at times it gives the reader a suggestion, as if it is forced. :)
    | Posted on 2008-08-31 00:00:00 | by moaxcym | [ Reply to This ]


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