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    dots Submission Name: Are you still here, god?dots

    Author: Angie444
    ASL Info:    15 f Romania
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 92/34/55
    Words: 156
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 896
    Average Vote:    3.7500
    Bytes: 970


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAre you still here, god?dots

    The forlorn prophecies of old
    Coiled themselves around My throat
    I struggled, naked, as I choked
    on thoughts about a purer world
    elated by the lies they wrote,
    So unaware that I would drop,
    Forgot to hear My breathing stop.

    My knees gave in under the cross
    too heavy that you made Me carry
    Enslaved in wars that weren't Mine
    My ashes at the stake of loss
    three brothers I have had to bury:
    Blindfolded as I slay My kin
    The whip of time caressed My skin.

    My sins- all written in your book
    Banished me through your bolted door
    when Dark had not created Light
    when I had not a heart that shook.
    I've been born only once before!
    father so dear, and since those days
    you've killed Me in a million ways.

    Submitted on 2008-08-31 21:16:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      wow that was fantastic,
    im a writer myself but sometimes i cant et my stuff to ryme and sound good.
    you did that just perfectly
    | Posted on 2008-09-04 00:00:00 | by sota | [ Reply to This ]
      I relate very well to this magnificent piece from a heart so torn and shattered because I asked the same questions. The same lament came over me in waves of despair and from the darkest Deep the Coldest cold the Widest Nothing roared in my entirety of being human but could not find a sane reason for it. Then strangely I found the reason me! I did all that and more to myself. Read my first piece .. Peace.. and you will understand.
    I will make this poem my fav and take 5 as an encore. Well done. keep up the deep work. Luv Joachim.
    | Posted on 2008-09-02 00:00:00 | by Joachim | [ Reply to This ]
    God didnt make you carry anything
    We as humans must remember all the problems in our life we have created ourselves
    If it wasnt for His Loving Heart this world and all living life upon it surely would have disapeered a long time ago
    The biggest reason why it would have disapeered is we would have destroyed it
    I mean think about it for a second
    All these wars and disease and so on throughout time
    Yopu would have to be stupid or insane to not believe in God because obviously he saves us everyday of our lives
    Well put together
    The topic was a little contriversal but I have to be honest here this was well thought out and put together very well
    Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    God Bless
    | Posted on 2008-08-31 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      All I can say is wow. Very powerful words. Such a deep emotion.
    My favorite part was :

    My knees gave in under the cross
    too heavy that you made Me carry.

    Why do I feel like this sometimes.

    Good write
    | Posted on 2008-08-31 00:00:00 | by smalltown | [ Reply to This ]

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