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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Watery Gravedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: twistedchick
    ASL Info:    18/girlie/utah
    Elite Ratio:    1.57 - 14/58/73
    Words: 88
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Misc
    Total Views: 593
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 475



    Description:
       


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    dotsWatery Gravedots
    -------------------------------------------


    I am going to dig a small hole
    and lay down in it
    Letting the rain storms inside of my head
    wash all down me and filling up this hole
    I am going to allow the tears of my heart
    to bleed out and dye this water red
    As it slowly gets closer and closer to my face
    I hum along to the death march
    parading inside of my mind
    I will sit here till it over fills and drowns me
    Turning this hole into my watery grave.




    Submitted on 2008-09-01 15:25:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I like this piece, reminds me of the dreams I can barely recall. the only "bump" that I saw in the works was in the third line.

    "Letting the rain stores inside of my head"

    The word "stores", I think would work smoother it it didn't have that "s" at the end
    | Posted on 2008-09-03 00:00:00 | by Trystam | [ Reply to This ]
      For some reason, I'm able to relate to this. Maybe it's because something similar to this action did cross my mind. Not a hint on the cause of such thoughts make this intriguing.
    | Posted on 2008-09-03 00:00:00 | by whchong | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a pretty unusual piece. But it makes the reader think. I can't help wondering what happened to make you feel like this...

    - Rose
    | Posted on 2008-09-01 00:00:00 | by Roselize | [ Reply to This ]


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