[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Remember Me Sweetdots

    Author: LovelyGoddess
    ASL Info:    21/F/SC
    Elite Ratio:    2.69 - 138/95/104
    Words: 285
    Class/Type: Poetry/Romance
    Total Views: 485
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1732


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRemember Me Sweetdots

    We were supposed to survive through any weather
    but since you met her, you claim it's something better.
    You're telling me it's fantasy, now you want me out?
    You said I was your chocolate, the melt in your mouth.

    I can't believe for you I was just someone handy.
    Time that it's over you claim you can't stand me.
    The memories are with us, you would leave this for lust?
    Won't think it over? You would leave me for dust?

    Let me be your candy girl for one last time.
    Remember me sweet, then make up your mind.
    Forget her baby, she is nothing but thought.
    It's back to the basics of what you've been taught.

    Let me give you what you like, you'll like what I give.
    I'll become everything and more, forget her little tricks.
    You wouldn't want another man to have me, right?
    I can keep it together. I've always kept it tight.

    For you, I allow myself to compete in this silly contest.
    I am sweet and delicious. My aura has been blessed.
    If you stay with her then you will continue to regret
    that you didn't chose the candy who tastes the best.

    You can wait and consider things in your own time
    or you can kick back and let my love make up your mind.
    Just kiss me, touch me, treat me right.
    You can always leave tomorrow, don't leave me tonight.

    I'm not a whore, but I can't let you go
    even if it means I have to stoop this low.
    Let me be your candy girl for one last time.
    Remember me sweet, then make up your mind.

    Submitted on 2008-09-03 05:19:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This was a very nice piece of work. It touched me deaply because it reminded me of a girl desperate to find her love again. With a few rewrites, and fixes of the puncuation and grammar, it would be fantastic. It was not original, it feels as if you used your heart more then anything, and it makes me watch a movie through my head.
    | Posted on 2009-07-17 00:00:00 | by Kykaru | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    AI written by poetotoe
    Fasade written by jackz
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Push written by JanePlane
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    I Do, I Do written by poetotoe
    written by Daniel Barlow
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Carry written by saartha
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    What happens written by Wolfwatching




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]