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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Again Tomorrowdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: melancholystar
    ASL Info:    17/f/tx
    Elite Ratio:    4.53 - 598/302/32
    Words: 50
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 363
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 372



    Description:
       This message of this is pretty clear and it's a bit different from my normal rhyming poetry.... but I just wrote this and I have yet to think of a title. If you have any suggestions for one please share...



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    dotsAgain Tomorrowdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Livid words shot back and forth,
    Crying and pleas from one,
    Harsh gestures from the other.

    Both forget about their little girl,
    Surrounded by her shadowy room,
    Just another small black sphere.

    Rocking back and forth,
    Listening to the words,
    Knowing that it all happens,
    Again tomorrow.




    Submitted on 2004-07-06 18:45:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I have been waiting to read a poem where you didn't rhyme. And here it is, and it is wonderful. I hope I read some more like this.. theres something about it. Im pretty sure I know what you're talking about here and i dont like it one bit. ggrrrr oh man can't wait to go get you hehehehe

    Bruno
    | Posted on 2004-08-18 00:00:00 | by brunov68 | [ Reply to This ]
      Damn...I've definitely been there. That awkward position between little girl and little fly on the wall trying not to get smashed. Well done. As for the title. "Again Tomorrow" would work, but you could leave it untitled. this was a nice one.
    | Posted on 2004-07-06 00:00:00 | by LadyChaos | [ Reply to This ]
      if you change the last line to 'tomorrow, again' instead of 'again tomorrow'..i dont know...it just sounds better to me that way...as for a title i would switch the last line around a call it "Again"
    | Posted on 2004-07-06 00:00:00 | by butterflygirl13 | [ Reply to This ]
      i liked that it reminds me alot of my life except im a guy not a little girl great write it relly grabs your attention specialy to those who have experienced it
    | Posted on 2004-07-06 00:00:00 | by thehiddenone | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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