for the star that explodes by ruejacobs

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Submission Name: for the star that explodes dots

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Author:	ruejacobs
ASL Info:	37/feminazi/Gehenna
Elite Ratio:	4.9 - 566/440/155
Words:	108

Class/Type:	Poetry/Longing
Total Views:	320
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	761

Description:
an arguement
the illustration is a depiction of Xipe Totec, Our Lord the Flayed One.

for the star that explodes dots

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(c. by ruejacobs 9/4/08 3:30 p.m.)

Nothing but glitter now,
That supernoval remnant
Where carbon was reduced to ash
This shore on which I stand
Once a thriving ecosphere
Is just an echo now
The crystal of sand
Once washed by tides
A perfect biosphere
Is only a blade of obsidian
Beneath my sole
Burned weapon bright
It opens my flesh to this void
And flayed, I stand
Where sea has vaporized
What stellar dust
Some clumsy god
Fashioned into me
That mote, that spark
Which disintegrates
And not even breath remains
I am only cordite now
As the star was once
An echo, nothing more

Submitted on 2008-09-04 20:10:46 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  I feel as if pacing is one of the true elements of good
poetry.

I know with complete certainty that this poem isn't for me what it is for you,

but returning to pacing in every sense
this poem is bright and connected to itself through enjambment and rhyme that is used sparingly and that slots almost back into itself.

You feel like a stranger as forest gump mentioned,

and you know the inhale, the way this poem sighs and slides into itself, how mechanics are still at play but are used to push the air right out of this,

there's no long pause, only impossibility denying expectation.

I know I will never understand all of these offerings the way you do but I will look into them

and it's never quiet when good poets are around
| Posted on 2009-03-29 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]
  ...and the god no longer necessary.

for those who no longer believe
anything, for those on shore leave
where there is no shore, no land
no surf-soft breeze exists
the mists are no more than
memories of what is, what was
what failed to arise, these eyes
are incapable of capturing suns
since the beginning I have failed
to embrace those I could have loved
| Posted on 2008-11-21 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
  this is very wistful.
and sparse.
so not wasteful.

i am made to think of a spaceman looking down at what was home and it might be that aztecs knew about rockets before they knew about influenza and their cruelty was love by another name.

and we are all descended from them.

that would not surprise me any more than the colours of an octopus when it is scared or angry or both - or missing home.

funny how a few short lines can join the dots...

take it easy on that 3rd rock from the sun.

k
| Posted on 2008-09-07 00:00:00 | by Awkward | [ Reply to This ]
  Mum,
Honestly you captured what I feel completely.

I love it...
| Posted on 2008-09-05 00:00:00 | by dismal_s child | [ Reply to This ]

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