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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: +-*/=[13]?dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Solomon Disease
    ASL Info:    101, male, earth
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 284/292/104
    Words: 154
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 820
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 1011



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots+-*/=[13]?dots
    -------------------------------------------


    The mathmetician went shopping
    Which is difficult for him
    Since he is prejudiced against anything that does not add or subtract or multiply or divide into the number thirteen

    He finishes
    Takes him a long time
    Hell of a long time
    Hell is a bad place by the way
    It is not recomended for anyone to take a visit there

    On his way out he buys a lottery ticket
    On tuesday night he waits imaptiently for them to announce the winners -- or rather the winning numbers

    He seemed to be dropping in and out of sleep
    He gets some coffee
    Some strong coffee
    With lots of coffee
    With lots of caffine
    Large amounts of caffine
    It helps
    It helps a little

    "The winning numbers are," the announcement knocks him into full blown consciousness

    He doesn't win
    He regerets spending that dollar
    And goes to sleep

    The End.




    Submitted on 2008-09-05 00:24:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      He seemed to be dropping in and out of sleep
    He gets some coffee
    Some strong coffee
    With lots of coffee
    With lots of caffine
    Large amounts of caffine
    It helps
    It helps a little

    This stanza is really powerful for obvious reasons i.e it builds up into a cresendo and then hits with the honest evaluation of effects "it helps a little". Very honest and umm meek or something like that.

    The end sucks I'd change it

    He doesn't win
    He regerets spending that dollar
    And goes to sleep

    The End.

    Breaks the mood completely.

    Otherwise yeah, good stuff, jolly good.
    | Posted on 2009-04-09 00:00:00 | by Sethesin | [ Reply to This ]
      Ha. This is so sad. It's funny, much like the character in Stranger Than Fiction that Will Ferrel plays. It's hopeless but adorable in it's own hopelessness. It's interesting too because I have had a recuring dream the past two nights about being in class and working on a math problem that I cannot solve. I can't see the problem clearly and I can't hear the teacher speaking about it. So ha. I guess that doesn't relate much but I see that math and the idea of logic and the efforts to control ones own tendencies toward logic can be, hell. At least thats what I get out of it.
    | Posted on 2008-09-07 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]


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