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    dots Submission Name: something i found onlinedots

    Author: franki jorge
    ASL Info:    19/f/ca
    Elite Ratio:    0.82 - 5/12/54
    Words: 598
    Class/Type: Joke/Misc
    Total Views: 1086
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 3409

       its not mine but i thought it was hilarious.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotssomething i found onlinedots

    Little Johnny was 7 years old, and like other boys his age,
    rather curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about courting from
    other boys and he wondered what it was and how it was done.

    One day he took his questions to his mother, and she became
    flustered. Instead of explaining things to Johnny she told him to
    hide behind the curtains one night and watch his older sister
    and her boyfriend. This he did, and the following morning Johnny
    described everything to his mother.

    Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for awhile, then he turned off
    most of the lights. Then he started to kiss and hug her, I figured
    sis must be getting sick because her face started looking funny. He
    must have thought so too because he put his hand inside her blouse to
    feel her heart, just like the doctor would. Except he's not as good
    as the doctor, because he seemed to have trouble finding her heart.

    He was getting sick too, because pretty soon both of them started
    panting and getting all out of breath. His other hand must have been
    getting cold because he put it under her skirt. About this time, sis
    got toward the end of the couch. This was when the fever started. I
    know it was a fever because sis told him she was really hot.

    Finally, I found out what was making them so sick...a big eel had
    gotten inside his pants somehow. It just jumped out of his pants
    and stood there about 9 inches long. Honest! anyway, he grabbed it
    in one hand to keep it from getting away. When sis saw it she got
    really scared. Her eyes big and her mouth fell open, and she started
    calling out to God and stuff like that. I should tell her about the
    ones I saw at the lake!

    Anyway, sis got brave and tried to kill the eel by bitting its head off.
    All of a sudden, she made a noise and let the eel go. I guess it bit her
    back. Then she grabbed it with both hands and held it tight while he took
    a muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it over the eels head to keep it
    from biting again. Sis lay back and spread her legs so she could get a
    scissor lock on it, and he helped by laying on the top of the eel. The eel
    put up a hell of a fight. Sis started groaning and squeeling and her
    boyfriend almost upset the couch. I guess they wanted to kill the eel by
    squishing it between them.

    After a while they both quit moving and gave a great sigh. Her boyfriend
    sat up and sure enough they had killed the eel. I knew it was dead because
    it just hung there limp and some of its insides were hanging out. Sis and
    her boyfriend were a little tired from the battle, but they went on courting
    anyway. He started hugging and kissing her again, and by golly, the eel wasn't
    dead after all. It jumped straight up and started to fight again. I guess eels
    are like cats... They have nine lives or something.

    This time sis jumped up and tried to kill the eel by sitting on it. After about
    35 minutes of struggle, they finally killed the eel. I know it was dead this time
    because I saw sis's boyfriend peel off the skin and flush it down the toilet.

    Mother fainted.

    Submitted on 2008-09-05 12:49:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

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