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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Double XXLdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: MornSweetSong
    ASL Info:    21/female/wales
    Elite Ratio:    4.42 - 110/83/46
    Words: 205
    Class/Type: Poetry/Happy
    Total Views: 868
    Average Vote:    3.5000
    Bytes: 1234



    Description:
       I was drunk as a fart writing this and it still makes me chuckle whilst sober. So yeah >:}


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDouble XXLdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Fat isn't a swear word until you let it be,
    it doesn't count as a swear word, according to me.
    It describes the curvacious the large, + the round,
    could be worse, like obese or something profound.

    I don't care much for skinny, or size six or less.
    I'd rather be happy, and big, I confess.
    Not giving up chocolate or shakeshacks to see,
    a skinnier, lighter and miserable me.

    Flick your tacky extensions in my general way,
    might be aesthetic but you don't have much to say.
    I'd rather be Dawn French than suffer within,
    to sacrifice indulgence to be less is a sin.

    Give me a chocolate, a cream and a cake,
    trying to be anything less ... would make me fake.
    My mind is a treasure, a gift for now and ever.
    But looks fade with time, as fickle as the weather.

    Your tans will soon fade and so will your looks,
    you'll be too thick to learn from my beloved books.
    You can say shit behind my back, but I can still see.
    Your culture has fucked you but hasn't fucked me.


    Morn Sweet Song






    Submitted on 2008-09-06 01:25:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      overall i really like the tone of the piece and i think the rhyme scheme fits very well with the theme. its almost a jolly rhythm, like some might consider larger to people to be lol.
    This line really jumped out at me:
    I'd rather be Dawn French than suffer within,
    to sacrifice indulgence to be less is a sin.

    it doesnt bother me that i dont know who Dawn French is, I actually like the reference cause it ensures that i learned something from your work which doesnt happen in a lot of work you read (including my own). At first the I was thrown off by the idea that to sacrifice indulgence was a sin but then it hit me as irony in light of the tone of the entire work. in short, love the line lol

    the ending is a little formulaic, that everyone will get theres and the speaker will some how be better off because he/she never fit in with the mainstream. judging by the stanzas that lead up to it, i think you have something much more original, funny, or fiery in you.

    overall, great write. -roy
    | Posted on 2010-07-08 00:00:00 | by roycureton | [ Reply to This ]
      This was written very well. It was funny but very touching and I very much agree. Keep up the awesome work, and I'll keep reading

    »Haely«
    | Posted on 2008-09-06 00:00:00 | by MinervaBlu | [ Reply to This ]


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