Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Traiser Eyesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: koolness
    ASL Info:    17/female/city of evil
    Elite Ratio:    2.58 - 80/106/56
    Words: 192
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 582
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1212



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTraiser Eyesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    A sleep in my bed peaceful as can be,
    when a voice was calling me.
    I opened my eyes and saw only dark,
    "I'm under your bed," he remarked.
    I laid still hopin it was only a dream,
    "I'm coming out now," he sounded mean.
    I closed my eyes as he leaned over my bed,
    I peeked and saw a little head.
    He wasn't mean and he wasn't scary,
    He was a little trasier named Larry.
    With his big eyes he looked at me,
    "I'm very frightened you see."
    "I'm afraid of the dark and cant sleep,"
    I said to him, you can always count sheep.
    He looked down and simply shook his head,
    "Here," I said."Hop in my bed."
    He hopped in as happy as can be,
    then he fell fast asleep.
    I woke up and looked around,
    but my little friend was nowhere to be found.
    I looked in my closet and under my bed,
    I even looked outside in my shed.
    That night in my bed almost asleep,
    the same voice was calling me.
    I peeked and saw those big trasier eyes,
    Those big eyes filled with promising lies.




    Submitted on 2008-09-06 05:49:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      That's really creepy.

    I mostly liked the ending. It's kinda like sleeping pills. :P
    | Posted on 2008-09-07 00:00:00 | by SexyBeazt | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    165351

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Redemption written by poetotoe
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Cover written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Love written by saartha
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Carry written by saartha
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Dream written by closetpoet
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Records I written by Raphael
    prison written by ShyOne

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry