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    dots Submission Name: Daydreams ft. AeThe Lost Poet dots

    Author: TheStillSilence
    ASL Info:    20/F/Out in Outer Space
    Elite Ratio:    5.1 - 180/107/54
    Words: 175
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 713
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1257

       This is another collab between AeThe Lost Poet. The idea here is just that of a muse.

    He's amazing to work with. Hopefully we'll be doing more together. =]

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDaydreams ft. AeThe Lost Poet dots

    (AeThe Lost Poet)

    She's my muse--
    Oops I mean my favorite....
    Who'd expect the blessed again
    To ever mean the greatest,
    Face it, she's lucid--
    and I am shady,
    She's the type of lady,
    that drive men crazy,
    and lately,
    I've been having late nights
    Spaced out in place,
    like i'm in stage fright,
    it ain't right, is it?
    Ah... no....
    Got me giving charity,
    Like i'm Bono,

    Losing my clarity,
    Yes, I'm in very deep,
    With the most sincerity,
    Yes, I'm in very deep.


    And so she dances on my lips
    With eyelids close; I grab her hips
    And on we go;
    Into the wind
    That chases dreams but calls us sin.

    The beat she keeps,
    But with blistered feet.
    A tempting dance, and bigger feat: as winds take hold of me;
    I sway into
    Storms and temptations.
    Her melody shines and breaks me through,
    She coos: "tired souls have revelations."
    And on we go into seas of blue.

    And we're both in very deep.

    Submitted on 2008-09-09 22:59:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This one could almost be like an old jazz or blues standard. It has a style all its own. And it conjures vivid images of young love, and young lovers. Lost in their passion, not knowing how the emotional part of all this is suppose to work, but going along with the flow anyway to save face (and to suck face as well, sorry bad joke I will continue).

    You have definitely got a lot of talent. I just noticed when I came back here that you are only 16. I normally write some qualifier when I see the person I am speaking to is so very young. I usually give them extra praise, or cushion the harshness of my disapproval of there work. I will not do that with you. No I will not ever mention you age after this again, for you are beyond that. You are on equal footing with the "Big Boys" in my book.
    | Posted on 2008-09-25 00:00:00 | by nicodemous | [ Reply to This ]
      This was written very well. I dont quite understand it, but it was still really good. You two did a very nice job together. Keep up the good work, and I'll keep reading

    | Posted on 2008-09-12 00:00:00 | by MinervaBlu | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
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    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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