Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Fallen Angel

Author: truefruit06
ASL Info:    14/m/IN
Elite Ratio:    1.5 - 6 /22 /44
Words: 66
Class/Type: Poetry /Serious
Total Views: 915
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 448


just a poem i'm really confused on my beliefs

Fallen Angel

The falling angel
has been struck down
feathers falling off.
as well as tears

he speaks of love
and speaks of hate
and was cast out
of the so called golden city

is it really gold
or maybe black
can't be fun
with so many rules

and so many rules
this angel "broke"
but its always sad
to see a fallen angel

Submitted on 2008-09-10 15:01:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  i read one of your other poems so i dicided to check out more. this one was ok i lkied it- butand so many rules
this angel "broke"
but its always sad
to see a fallen angel
was intence, it totally threw me off wasnt expecting that great end to it....
i lkie your stuff indivitually, but it seems as if you have the same like rythem, style, and construction in all of them. there good, but try mixin it up a bit some time
| Posted on 2008-09-23 00:00:00 | by Gwenith Louise | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?