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    dots Submission Name: Matter of Minddots

    Author: BlazeFlamme
    ASL Info:    22/m/TX
    Elite Ratio:    1.8 - 23/161/138
    Words: 228
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 523
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1480


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMatter of Minddots

    I've watched myself struggle in the deep
    Cascading downward, I gave up hope
    I lost what I thought I would sink without
    But somehow I managed to stay afloat

    I've watched the sands of time pass me by
    I've seen this concern cross my mind
    Time and time again I've filled myself with lead
    I was the cause I have come to find

    It's like weening an infant from a bottle
    They'd rather drink nothing at first
    After so long they cave if kept away
    And accept alternatives to quench their thirst

    After some time that bottle seems childish
    It was an attachment, all that they knew
    Learn something new, fade out of habit
    Decide and then react, go get a clue

    I've watched myself fall, get lost in my mind
    I've seen myself wander in place
    But losing one thing is not losing all
    Don't judge the world by the face

    And I've seen treasures and wonders in naught
    Happiness revealed without what was lost
    And thus said placebo was revealed as it was
    Think how much holding on could have cost

    And I've seen the world grow brilliant and dull
    I've seen you break and bloom at a simple whim
    I've heard melodies and voices disturbing and kind
    Thick or thin, you'll only drown if you choose not to swim

    Submitted on 2008-09-12 13:45:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      The thing I like about this is the perspective and the way it's written, namely outside the box, as if you've been an objective by-stander the whole time, during your struggles as well as your revelations. Lately, I've noticed that I seldomly read optimistic, light-hearted poems. It's as if the new generation of writters has either lost the will to live or, alternatively, confuses good literature with sad literature.
    What I enjoyed most was the metaphor about the bottle, it was inteligently constructed. Also, it's nice how the use of imperatives makes the reader feel as if you're telling your story simply to set an example and give an advice. And the best thing about this particular piece of advice is how it sticks to you, especially the last verse(which I think is perfection and I'm really picky about poem endings).
    'Thick or thin, you'll only drown if you choose not to swim'. Hypnotic.
    | Posted on 2008-09-14 00:00:00 | by Angie444 | [ Reply to This ]

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