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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Regression(or when you know there's nothing..dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Angie444
    ASL Info:    15 f Romania
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 92/34/55
    Words: 164
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 772
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 983



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRegression(or when you know there's nothing..dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Please excuse me for just one brief moment, if you will
    As I clumsily trip inside my miniature time machine
    -I built it out of cardboard boxes full of puppets with one hand
    Oily books of senseless drawings and warm homes made out of sand-
    And raise the anchor that's been keeping it so still,
    And witness how the void inside decreases. Till
    i fill my brain with petty nothingness.
    (Or was it "happiness"?-I had forgotten how
    the sound of that word never reaches me now
    when I've been taught how to think on my own).

    Allow me the power to suspend Time and Space
    Leave me entangled in my ombilical chord
    In an error of Life, in a dark, empty Place
    Where I can think of nothing, and utter no word.

    Because here, everything that had to Happen has been Done
    and I have Nothing left to think of and cry after
    when it's gone.




    Submitted on 2008-09-13 11:41:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      i question your use of double spacing?
    i find double spacing really distracting while reading poetry and unless there is an obvious point to such formatting it doesnt seem to contribute anything to the piece for me.

    but that could just be me.

    your use of parenthesis interests me
    i love parenthesis and it is featured in a lot of my writings. what i love about it is the way it seems like a kind of aside... yu know... like you can address people without other people hearing on stage...


    nothingness... happiness... perhaps they are interchangable entities... somedays they seem quite similar and easily confused.

    your piece feels a little empty though... like its missing something... missing the wires that make the circuit complete so the charge can run through them...

    i dunno...
    this has been a pretty useless comment.
    | Posted on 2008-09-14 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]


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    165658

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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    January 10 07
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