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    dots Submission Name: Just Another MTV Series dots

    Author: TheStillSilence
    ASL Info:    20/F/Out in Outer Space
    Elite Ratio:    5.1 - 180/107/54
    Words: 337
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 978
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 2202

       Some poems in chronological order, about a series of events that happened/ are happening in my life.

    For your reading pleasure =p

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots Just Another MTV Series dots

    ***Moving Through Fog***

    We trespassed the boundaries of time
    The barriers that we set up for each other
    The judgments that others passed
    (which at any other point would have clawed at our skin)

    But all was forgotten, and all was left behind
    And the clouds looked down and smiled
    And the air whispered the sweetness
    That we both were thinking but were too afraid to utter

    But sugar begets sugar, and water begets water
    And enough is never enough
    And I got fogged by what ďshould beĒ
    And I couldnít see what was
    The fog got heavier, and I lost you

    The clouds looked down, but with disproval
    And the air whispered behind my back
    Judgments were passed again
    But pain drowned them out with her
    Screams, and vicious backtalk, and emotional slashes

    The barriers of time held me till the voice of pain got hoarse
    But now theyíve released me
    And Iíve found a new pair of eyes to drown in

    ***Gummy Bear Escape***

    Eternity held back as you breathed
    And the air around you, danced in delight
    The tiny giggles could be heard from miles afar
    And they were envied

    The Sun looked down and smiled
    Secretly hoping to catch a glimpse of your eyes
    Jealous that they outshone his
    But entranced none the less

    Eternity began again, but only because you said so
    And when you wanted, it took us back in time
    To childhood, and innocence, and gummy bear years
    My own special time machine

    ***My Anti-Drug***

    Another dose.
    And itís in my blood, running rampage.
    Attacking every cell and nerve.

    My addiction.
    And I canít breathe; I canít talk or see or hear
    Every part of me has become this drug.

    Your love.
    And it drives me crazy.
    And I canít get enough

    Another dose.
    And Iíve almost slipped into your coma.
    (The irony might kill me before you do)

    Submitted on 2008-09-14 02:05:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      A great read overall. My favorite was the second. Which had an eye catching title.

    I think my only problem would be that in the third one the stanzas are very short. Much shorter than the others. Although that might tie it off a bit better for some, I'm not sure...
    | Posted on 2008-09-19 00:00:00 | by entropy | [ Reply to This ]
      This reads like something that all "real" poets have in a special book, tucked away for comfort or inspiration. Combining three related poems in to one helps built its gravity and gives it weight.

    Each piece is strong enough to stand well on its own, but together they are very near a masterpiece. I tip my hat and hope I can remember to return one day
    | Posted on 2008-09-14 00:00:00 | by nicodemous | [ Reply to This ]

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