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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Of A Featherdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 87
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 628
    Average Vote:    3.0000
    Bytes: 595



    Description:
       This is a tiny description of a big ol feeling.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOf A Featherdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Fifth ever to lift the feather
    Scribbles, erase

    dotted dotty lines and rolled burnt eraser
    pink black coated eraserrrr

    I gather myself, my toes are pointed in,
    my posture is
    straight
    like a board, and light
    as a feather

    tip toe tip toe, chin up twirly, twirly, twirl

    in the air there is an indescribable wind created by the sensation that we are gazelle lifting, sprinting
    jumping

    above and on top

    fifth ever, we're birds of a feather





    Submitted on 2008-09-15 22:42:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    2: I dunno...
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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      A message of freedom perhaps. I really love your writing.
    | Posted on 2008-10-05 00:00:00 | by Solomon Disease | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm doing this with the idea that I'm largely going to be way off. Also, as I read.
    Lot of art references in this piece.

    The "light as a feather, stiff as a board" reference is obvious and makes me want to say the feeling is floating. Some kind of happiness or pleasant numbness that just makes one feel high above everything. Or, just a drug reference, but I'm not going with that.

    So the early part makes me think of pencil drawing. "dotted dotty lines" makes me thing of stipling.
    "eraserrrr" makes me think of this as a quick, free-write that wasn't given much thought beyond the initial write.

    The beginning of S3 makes the "eraserrrr" part seem more like a less stable situation, which is stabilized a bit by the speaker here. But then we get to S4 which just seems like nonsense. Probably a personal reference that I wouldn't be able to pick up on. Unless "tip toe" relates to sneaking around, covert things. "chin up" being confidence, or recovering from sadness.

    S5 goes along with the floating/free idea that I think this piece is on about. Just free and happy and dancing and prancing, thus "twirly, twirly, twirl" earlier.

    S6 I get a sexual innuendo from this, which I doubt was intended and I probably should have just not said anything.

    Overall
    Friendship, love, freedom, happiness. Freedom and happiness are what I'm leaning toward.
    The "fifth ever" loses me throughout.
    The friendship part I get from the "birds of a feather", but this could also relate to having things in common with lovers as well.

    Mostly, it's a fun piece to read. I don't feel that it's too deep though I try to read most things like they are. Not great, not terrible.
    | Posted on 2008-10-02 00:00:00 | by Sir Jimeth | [ Reply to This ]


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