everyday I awake to sunshine
it's shining down upon my face
it's warmness give me presence of mind
it illuminates my inner grace
The world ain't over till it's over my brother scholar
My shine is dimmed when I hear you cry
I'm sad when I hear you hollar
cause your reach can touch the clouded sky
you can't always get the things you want bro
get all you can grab or what you steal
I live my life inside the light so
the tough love I give you is for real
I lean my head in my confusion
I don't know how to take the pain
my shadow lives in disillusion
My light is driving him insane
I feel today that it was started
the final distance in our life
My love cast aside and discarded
I'm cut open with your knife
Jealousy get the best of all bro
it got you mad and made you fight
now get ready for the brawl bro
the sleeping dragon's awake tonight
| I thought was very kind of touching..but it seemed real .. the wording it was excellent it almost seemed like you were telling someone this... it seemed from the heart||| Posted on 2005-04-28 00:00:00 | by Hugh Jass | [ Reply to This ] || Well, growth is a part of life. If you live in the light and the other does'nt then you are not equally yolked right? Give it time...Then again who am I...|
Just a wondering spirit...caught up in the shine..
I did like this right. Seems to be very honest and shows the pian you may feel plus betrayal...Sound like there is a story behind this one.
Love and live Life...
|| Posted on 2005-04-19 00:00:00 | by smalltown | [ Reply to This ] || This is pretty deep. It's like two people, closest of friends that drift apart because one of them cannot stand the light that shines from the other. Jealousy is terrible things and words can hurt as much as knife wounds.|
I like how it ends though. It's like you have been there for this person..gave love..whatever was needed and then they just turned on you. You are making your stand. Tired of the bullsh.it and you aren't gonna just take it. The sleeping dragon was woken.
|| Posted on 2004-07-29 00:00:00 | by angela~ | [ Reply to This ] || mc to mc, cuz i can pretty much smell an mc a mile away. if you're not an mc you should become one. quality lines, on point rhymes, definate rhythm. what's not to say. brilliantly done. i want to read more. i misspell words too so that didn't sway me. siblings are a pain, huh? well, off-track, i would really enjoy hearing this over a track.||| Posted on 2004-07-13 00:00:00 | by Aknahlij_d 1 | [ Reply to This ] || Skillz, this is good. I mean, GOOD. you're a very astute poet.. and I've noticed that you and your brother aren't on the best of terms. Which is sad, but if it brings out poetry like this I'm tempted to tell you to make him apple-pie beds and holes in his toothpaste (please don't though, cos he'll know I said it and will come over to my page with sore legs, sticky hands and a raging bad temper....)|
Warmness should be warmth. And "holler" is mispelled.
I really like the ?? and ESPECIALLY the !!
Unusual, but... good. Original, and it works well in this. You have a very soft tone in this, dangerously soft... it's almost like you're telling him that things are gonna go two ways; it stops, or it'll *really* start.
I like the sleeping dragon. Like there's more to you than even your bro knows...
You gotta let me know what happens!!
|| Posted on 2004-07-07 00:00:00 | by Learah | [ Reply to This ] |