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    dots Submission Name: nowhere you're safedots

    Author: Syn
    Elite Ratio:    4.71 - 115/136/83
    Words: 101
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 1146
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 633


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    dotsnowhere you're safedots

    the scariest creature walks in the light
    not so far from human sight
    his eyes, they leer and pierce your mind
    his words will leave you feeling maligned
    his grin, it rots from ear to ear
    -by nightfall does he disappear
    he sleeps with you, with you, yes, in your bed
    he scratches at the inside walls of your head
    your eyes, they flutter, and he comes out to play
    to distract, to control, and to lead you astray
    in the mirror, he makes his show
    is he you? -and will you ever truly know?

    Submitted on 2008-09-16 09:20:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      geez this reminded me of "the Entity"--

    are you familiar with that book or movie?

    anyway...even as adults we fear the monster in the closet...and worse than that, fear the monster may be us.

    scary things can make us feel like children again....

    i felt creepy reading this. good creepy!

    now i am afraid to look into the mirror.

    | Posted on 2011-04-04 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      Overall I like the concept. I like the end. The idea was a good one, however in practice it has fallen a little flat. It feels like a serious concept being attacked form a childish angle. This is not to say the piece is childish. It would seem to me the writer feels she is ready to tackle deeper more "adult" subject matter but not ready to fully shed her childish tendencies.
    | Posted on 2008-09-17 00:00:00 | by nicodemous | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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