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    dots Submission Name: "Lot's Wife ate all my Vegetables and Ridots

    Author: themoviesong
    ASL Info:    18
    Elite Ratio:    4.03 - 17/24/23
    Words: 202
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 590
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1325


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    dots"Lot's Wife ate all my Vegetables and Ridots

    my brother hands her an extra paper plate
    and while he reaches up and over the third shelf
    trying to reach a plastic dish that is beyond his years,
    his stool totters, steadied by our mother who is
    nearby pushing frozen vegetables and rice
    around a stir-fry pan and I never-have-never-will-like-rice
    but it’s “what’s for dinner” cries my sister
    pushing past our brother and reaching for a plastic bowl
    requesting spaghetti, which is all she has
    eaten for ninedaysstraight whystopnow,
    salt slips out of our mothers hands scattering
    and dissolving near my feet, forming little pillars that weren’t there
    when I turned around during my last exodus,
    when the way out was blocked by the twopillarsmyparents
    when I pushed through anyway
    when I came back four hours later saying “what’s for dinner” and making spaghetti and spilling a little extra salt over the butter
    when four hours later, the four pillars I’d left behind pretended nothing had happened
    when fire & brimstone were reversed and I was the city of destruction
    because lately Sodom and Gomorrah have been boiling pasta
    and boiling over as I hand my brother that third-shelf
    plastic dish and swallow another bite of rice.

    Submitted on 2008-09-16 13:45:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This was an interesting piece. I found myself following the lines with a smile on my face, because the speaker had an almost dry way of speaking that mildly amused me. Your writing style is rather unique- i haven't seen much like it. I think that if anything were changed, it would destroy the integrity of the poem, so I have no suggested changes. The third to last line made me chuckle. Your sense of humor is interesting.

    keep writing, you're good.
    Peace love and Cupcakes.

    | Posted on 2008-09-16 00:00:00 | by CourtneyLynne | [ Reply to This ]

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