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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Harvest of the Blinddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Passionbyapathy
    ASL Info:    18/M/Ohio State
    Elite Ratio:    6.06 - 174/189/127
    Words: 167
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 152
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1109



    Description:
       


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    dotsHarvest of the Blinddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Every reminder that you exist pulls me back.
    I’m captivated, entranced by everything that you are,
    Whether you are truly my long awaited oasis
    Or just another desert trick played on weary eyes:
    I will probably never know.

    I cried for you, whatever that means.
    If it lends substance to an empty sentiment
    If it touched your heart like I would caress your cheek
    But you were always leagues above,
    You pull the strings from behind the curtains:
    Tell me, is it lonely?

    You’ve got your seeds planted,
    And you harvest the attention: impersonally.
    You keep at arm’s length, coming and leaving
    Like a drug that leaves memories of highs and lows
    And subtle, modest in-betweens.

    Happiness is so eluding, its presence is so relative
    To life, to love, and to the optimism inherent in us all.
    So, put your everything into nothing, let your hopes fly
    Without foundation or restraint, freedom from prescience
    If loving is naïve, I’ll carry on blindly.




    Submitted on 2008-09-18 22:08:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      James- this poem is so... beautiful! the words you use to express the love you feel are very easy to relate to in a sense... i love the last line the most, because it's so true. when you love another, you don't seem to care about anything but, even if it's not he best thing. but when it turns out to be the best thing, the feeling's great :) the emotion it presents is very real, and i could feel it all the way through as i read it.

    Great job :) love it, keep it up :)
    | Posted on 2008-09-23 00:00:00 | by Kaygrl | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, this is encouraging. I love it especially at the end. This actually reminds me of one of my favorite poems "Barter", by Sarah Teasdale, and although it's forrmatted nothing like this, the message is always the same. "Give all you have for loveliness and never count the cost." It's a beautiful poem and so is this. On the second to last stanza, I think I would like "coming and going", rather than leaving, because leaving implies, at least to me, of never coming back. And maybe I just suck at grammar, but I don't understand the colon in the first stanza. But the chances of it just being me sucking at grammar are so high, you should probably ignore this sentence. But I understand that doubt, oh yes I do, of wondering whether the person your thought spend a good deal of time revolving around is actually your planet, or just another you;re slowly passing, where you sort of feel the gravitational pull, but in reality, you're revolving around some other planet. Honestly, though, no matter how much I over-analyze, and I do that A LOT, when it comes down to it, when I'm with that person, it's home. That's what it comes down to for me.
    But this is lovely.
    ~Azura*
    | Posted on 2008-09-18 00:00:00 | by EmpathicAya | [ Reply to This ]


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