Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password


Author: was_i_ever_real
ASL Info:    23 _ f _ tx
Elite Ratio:    8 - 194 /91 /52
Words: 90
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
Total Views: 1179
Average Vote:    0.0000
Bytes: 585



Bottles, bottles, bottles
As far as the [I] can see...
and your face at the bottom
of every

Have you ever noticed how Night is suddenly upon you, no matter how hard you pay attention to the lowering sun or the varying shades of darkness? You can never really tell the exact moment when Day turns to Night.

When Friends turn to love[rs]

Cascading upwards,
leaps and bounds
and pretty faces...
but always you.

Within reach but-
way out of [my] grasp.

Submitted on 2008-09-19 02:21:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  this is beautiful krystle.
but i cant really figure out the connection between

Bottles, bottles, bottles
As far as the [I] can see...
and your face at the bottom
of every

...and the rest of the poem.

i mean, i can make a connection between getting drunk and:

"Within reach but-
way out of [my] grasp."

...but theres obviously something youre not telling me.

p.s. after seeing all of the poetry that you have posted on this site... i kinda feel robbed.
well...i dont know if that was the right word 2 use, but i just feel like i should always be the first 2 read ur poetry...even as nerve racking as that can be for you. lol


| Posted on 2009-06-12 00:00:00 | by PO3TiKPO1SON | [ Reply to This ]
  yup,hang-overs suck,I usually get all depressed the next morning and I easilly fall into missing certain people certain times etc,but I loved the
kind of melding of day and night you pick up on,the transition for me after a few nights out becomes very seemless too

anyway thanks for the read

| Posted on 2008-09-23 00:00:00 | by Raphael | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?