Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Puppet: Part 8-Down the rabbit hole.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: faded color
    ASL Info:    18/M/That one place
    Elite Ratio:    2.93 - 36/32/37
    Words: 338
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1016
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2056



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Puppet: Part 8-Down the rabbit hole.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    I awoke the next morning in a pool of cold sweat. Chill bumps covered my body, and my skin was clammy. I rose off of the couch were it looked and felt as if I were slung there, and went to the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror and noticed a few scratches and blood spots, so I tended to them, they didnt heal, which was odd, because I was hit by a car, and was better in three to four hours, yet these scratches remain. Must have happened just recently. I tokk my temperature, had a fever of 101. My head was splitting of pain, and my legs and arms were bruised.
    "What happened?" I said to myself.
    "We had a long walk, and a little talk. It done wanders Matthew. Don't you feel your body immuning itself to everything, and even getting stronger?" he said.
    "Immune? I have a fever."
    "Yes, a temporary side affect. Sorry about the bruises and scratches, your body put up quite a fight in the begining. Amazing will power."
    "How long will this fever last?" I asked nervously.
    "Only another ten minuets, hopefully." He said.
    "Hopefully?"
    "Well, I never had this problem with your ancestors, they gave in much, much easier. They seeked power, so I gave it to them. To bad they couldn't control it."
    "What if this fever doesn't go away? Then what?"
    "Well, we won't discuss that."
    The phone rang, I ran to answer it, but my legs gave out and became immensly heavy.
    "What?!?!" I asked.
    "Oops, did I do that? Hm hm hm hm hm!." He said.
    I crawled towards the phone in agony, it felt like I would never get there.
    "Finally!" I yelled as I answered the phone. "Hello?"
    "Matt! This is your wifes doctor, you must come to the hospital at once!"
    What could it be now? I got up, the tension had worn off of my legs, and sprinted out the door as jackie taunted me.




    Submitted on 2008-09-25 12:30:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      erg! i love this story! the chapters are short, but the way you are going, it's great! keep it up man! i love it :)... and all the cliffhangers too lol
    | Posted on 2008-09-25 00:00:00 | by Kaygrl | [ Reply to This ]
      This is by far the best chapter yet. Good job on description this time. I'm gonna hang you if you don't stop doing the cliffhanger thing though. And since when is she his wife? That confused me a little, the dumby doctor should have known that much. Der. ANyways, good piece, Keep writing.

    Sarah
    | Posted on 2008-09-25 00:00:00 | by S.A.M. | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    166074

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry