[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: pins "n" needlesdots

    Author: jermwerm
    ASL Info:    26/m/FRESNO CA
    Elite Ratio:    4.29 - 203/268/83
    Words: 68
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 750
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 440


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotspins "n" needlesdots

    Pins "n" needles,
    hit an run.
    Taste of breath,
    content to cum.

    spoons of stillness,
    catching rain.
    feast of awe,
    I feel no shame.

    lust of thrust,
    Embrace fullness.
    Pins "n" needles,
    shoot it up.

    threaded buttons.
    tethered rush.
    So capital,
    for shard I love.

    Submitted on 2008-09-26 09:01:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I didnt think this was about shooting up until the end. Let me know if I was wrong.

    Spoons of stillness catching rain

    I like that line a lot.
    As for the rest of the piece I can't say much I don't have experience there. Done some things but never that.
    | Posted on 2014-12-14 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Estranged / Shocks written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    written by Daniel Barlow
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Happy Saint Patrick's Day written by poetotoe
    Every..... written by jackz
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Summer written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    You do, I Do written by poetotoe
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Bond written by saartha
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]