Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

The Puppet: Part 9 - Before you start...

Author: faded color
ASL Info:    18/M/That one place
Elite Ratio:    2.93 - 36 /32 /37
Words: 277
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
Total Views: 1485
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1516



The Puppet: Part 9 - Before you start...

I ran as fast as I could, muscles tensing, sweat beading, jackie, of course, not shutting up.
"Fool! Watch your thoughts as I know what they are also!" He said.
This was probably the only time you would EVER be able to run down NYC and not see a bloody cab. I kept seeing shadows everywere. In every ally, every abandoned store, every box, sometimes I would see the little yellow beady eyes, then, sometimes I would feel like they were following me. The farther I ran, the colder I became. Darkness had shrouded my mind, and my houghts became unclear. I was unaware of where I was to be running to. I tried to remember, but amnesia had set in. In my head, I could see Jackie laughing. His minions tearing my thoughts apart, attacking my mind, and sending me pictures of my family and friends being burnt alive. I became light headed, and things began to spin. My breathing increased and became heavier. With each step, I could picture him infront of me. Closer, and closer, and closer. I tripped on a root and smashed into a trash can, then was flung into a tree. Jackie stood at the opening of an ally while I watched his friends help me over to him. Take that how you will, just kno that I did not enjoy it. As we neared and entered the ally, I kicked one in the face, and grabbed the other and flung it off me. Jackie moved closer, put his hand over my mouth, which was indeed like ice, and whispered in my ear...
"This is where your journey begins."
Then, nothing.

Submitted on 2008-09-26 11:59:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  ok, what the hell. . . .this exolained nothing about the last chapter and got us no where! Give us more! Interesting chapter I guess, good piece, keep writing. And write more next time!

| Posted on 2008-09-27 00:00:00 | by S.A.M. | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?