Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: dying in your armsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: blackbird
    ASL Info:    31/male/reykjavik iceland
    Elite Ratio:    2.35 - 194/328/300
    Words: 270
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 548
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 2020



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsdying in your armsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    vast columns within me
    force themselves to describe you.
    there is this ocean
    with waves
    as green as anything
    shooting towards silver
    disembodyments,
    liking to flesh
    that gnaws unto itself
    it's own infinitely retreating heather.

    if i could place
    on my probing tongue
    of enamour
    the syllables that could speak
    of your beauty,
    of your endless angles
    that defy my concepts
    of geometry,
    i would have volumes
    of perfect linear poetry
    before me.

    there is both a softness
    & a harsh blade
    to everything
    that i've known.
    more so than most
    i take the flaws
    of those i love
    & turn them into virtues.

    & you are fleeting
    like a million others
    of your time
    yet i'll adore you
    & place pebbles
    in sacred patterns
    through your halls.

    i wait, amongst the witchcraft
    of unrelenting hours
    on this slim dime of earth,
    for your arrival
    at my forgotten lips.

    i've had
    easy love
    & it's been nothing more
    than smoke & mirrors.
    i choose to harshly pursue
    through the brambles of always
    the harder truths.
    the ones,
    that outside of any
    harsh round compromise,
    display themselves
    as the war torn heroes
    that they are.

    i'm left
    with a haunting thought.
    that i take things
    that are broken
    & mend them with pieces
    of myself.
    this makes me a fool
    for i love
    more than i possibly can.
    & i give,
    knowing that i'll never
    get anything in return.

    it's strange,
    but i'm positive
    that i'll always remember
    dying in your arms...




    Submitted on 2008-09-26 13:01:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I liked this...

    Easy love,its a concept allright,I think with some relationships the struggle is everything and you give yourself fully,while others its like youve got one foot in the grave,

    Some of the verses are very beautifull too,well all of them actually

    but one nit-pick: "probing tongue" for me hinges on the erotic and takes away some of the sensitiveness conveyed,
    it doesnt really matter I guess,but i was surprised to see it in there

    a refreshing read

    -Craig


    | Posted on 2008-10-28 00:00:00 | by Raphael | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    166125

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Live In Between written by teika5
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry