Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Places to See Before You Diedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Agent V.
    ASL Info:    23/girl/small town
    Elite Ratio:    7.23 - 38/29/24
    Words: 146
    Class/Type: Prose/Angst
    Total Views: 572
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 921



    Description:
       Experimental rubbish that was hiding behind closed lips for years...emo, angst, erotic, and nonsensical. Made up some pretty words too.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPlaces to See Before You Diedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Strangers are always welcome to sit alone together; to occupy a space to prove they exist. And the ones that would rather drift see their reflections in shadows. Definitely hollow and somewhat perplexed that the moments carry on when they continually forget to breathe...

    A mixture of ambiguity and simplicity very rarely mix, but the unmastered soul always drinks humble and alone with the other forgotten names until eternity calls.

    And it seems to unfold this disaster unfortold of vengeance for the innocence until all goes cold.

    The pause in emotion a benefit to none. Striking and stabbing, a fight for silence that beckons for an interlude for a sweet malicious solitude.

    It's time to bring down the curtains to force the undialated climax to a close.

    [and the moment between breathe and sigh is a beautiful disaster you cannot deny.]




    Submitted on 2008-09-27 23:16:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      when you say "Made up some pretty words" did you really make these words up from imagination or no? I mean, even if not so, they could be there just not in a way that is not spelled or typed. makes sense to me.

    the imagination is a powerful tool.

    im gonna use rule 6 listed below the critique box to help me. "What distracted from the piece?" from the end of the third stanza to stanza five, I found myself a little lost, im hoping this was a bit intended as i myself hate when people tell me my poems make no sense. :(

    if anything add a stanza between 3 and 4 if you find this is true.

    nothing but love <3.

    -Michael

    p.s. sorry for improper puncuification. i dont think i give a damn anymore :'(
    | Posted on 2008-10-04 00:00:00 | by APetalFallen | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    166175

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry