Description: Experimental rubbish that was hiding behind closed lips for years...emo, angst, erotic, and nonsensical. Made up some pretty words too.
Places to See Before You Die -------------------------------------------
Strangers are always welcome to sit alone together; to occupy a space to prove they exist. And the ones that would rather drift see their reflections in shadows. Definitely hollow and somewhat perplexed that the moments carry on when they continually forget to breathe...
A mixture of ambiguity and simplicity very rarely mix, but the unmastered soul always drinks humble and alone with the other forgotten names until eternity calls.
And it seems to unfold this disaster unfortold of vengeance for the innocence until all goes cold.
The pause in emotion a benefit to none. Striking and stabbing, a fight for silence that beckons for an interlude for a sweet malicious solitude.
It's time to bring down the curtains to force the undialated climax to a close.
[and the moment between breathe and sigh is a beautiful disaster you cannot deny.]
when you say "Made up some pretty words" did you really make these words up from imagination or no? I mean, even if not so, they could be there just not in a way that is not spelled or typed. makes sense to me.
the imagination is a powerful tool.
im gonna use rule 6 listed below the critique box to help me. "What distracted from the piece?" from the end of the third stanza to stanza five, I found myself a little lost, im hoping this was a bit intended as i myself hate when people tell me my poems make no sense. :(
if anything add a stanza between 3 and 4 if you find this is true.
nothing but love <3.
-Michael
p.s. sorry for improper puncuification. i dont think i give a damn anymore :'(
Submission Name: Places to See Before You Die
