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    dots Submission Name: Morning Beautydots

    Author: SheetMusic
    ASL Info:    18/f
    Elite Ratio:    7.41 - 11/8/5
    Words: 31
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nature
    Total Views: 600
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 202


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMorning Beautydots

    You can smell the purity of dawn; the
    greyish blues touching the soft pinks
    as the sun stretches like a child not
    wanting to rise from bed, begging
    mom for five-more-minutes.

    Submitted on 2008-09-28 04:49:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      momma would be nice, but this is lovely. Short poems should be wholly so, and yes you found that here.

    Good to see, and how cool is this!
    | Posted on 2009-05-20 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]
      just five more minutes. yes. how i can identify with this sentiment, haha.

    i often find the poetry i like has simple comparisons like this one you've presented: timeless, enduring associations which are at once fleeting and ethereal and liquid.

    and yes, there is that purity to dawn which can be smelled... apple juice and pancakes and snowpeas always comes to the fore when i think of sunrises.

    beautiful piece.
    perfect as it is.
    nothing more, nothing less.
    | Posted on 2008-10-15 00:00:00 | by meoww | [ Reply to This ]
      you know, I really like this...
    my only suggestion would be to change the mom here...

    maybe momma or mother. mom just seems short.

    I love the first line as I think there is a purity in a rising sun... it is a simple and spreading, 'stretching', kinda light. Sleepy, but awake with possibility.

    this is quiet and calming and lovely.

    nice job.
    | Posted on 2008-09-30 00:00:00 | by isabella | [ Reply to This ]

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