Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Morning Beautydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: SheetMusic
    ASL Info:    18/f
    Elite Ratio:    7.41 - 11/8/5
    Words: 31
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nature
    Total Views: 586
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 202



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMorning Beautydots
    -------------------------------------------


    You can smell the purity of dawn; the
    greyish blues touching the soft pinks
    as the sun stretches like a child not
    wanting to rise from bed, begging
    mom for five-more-minutes.




    Submitted on 2008-09-28 04:49:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      momma would be nice, but this is lovely. Short poems should be wholly so, and yes you found that here.

    Good to see, and how cool is this!
    | Posted on 2009-05-20 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]
      just five more minutes. yes. how i can identify with this sentiment, haha.

    i often find the poetry i like has simple comparisons like this one you've presented: timeless, enduring associations which are at once fleeting and ethereal and liquid.

    and yes, there is that purity to dawn which can be smelled... apple juice and pancakes and snowpeas always comes to the fore when i think of sunrises.

    beautiful piece.
    perfect as it is.
    nothing more, nothing less.
    | Posted on 2008-10-15 00:00:00 | by meoww | [ Reply to This ]
      you know, I really like this...
    my only suggestion would be to change the mom here...

    maybe momma or mother. mom just seems short.

    I love the first line as I think there is a purity in a rising sun... it is a simple and spreading, 'stretching', kinda light. Sleepy, but awake with possibility.

    this is quiet and calming and lovely.

    nice job.
    | Posted on 2008-09-30 00:00:00 | by isabella | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    166201

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    The World written by jjd
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry