[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: That Dreaded Nightdots

    Author: NixLacus
    Elite Ratio:    2.45 - 5/11/24
    Words: 385
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 543
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2406

       Strange poem I wrote when I finished my English Exam 45 minutes early and had to sit in silence

    I have been told that it does not make so much sense when you read it in your head but does when you read it aloud.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThat Dreaded Nightdots

    The lights are closing their heavy eyes
    The sun lay down it’s head
    The moon has come to watch
    I stand so still in the darkness
    I can not see around
    I can not hear a sound

    A slight woosh of air
    A draft
    A silent wind I felt brush against my hand
    If I close my eyes
    If I stand so still
    If I just pretend i’m dead
    Will you leave me O’beast?
    Will you take your bloody paws of death?
    Will you seek another prey?

    As I stand
    As I pray
    As I fear my life away
    You held out your hand
    You save my life
    You whisper in my ear
    “Run with me”
    “Run so far”
    “You will not die tonight”
    A voice so kind
    A voice so warm
    A voice I knew deep inside

    I ran
    I ran hand-in-hand
    I ran with this man
    “Who are you?”
    “Who are you?”
    “Who is my rescuer?”
    Waiting for an answer
    Waiting for a reply
    Waiting as I ran

    My waiting interrupted
    My eye caught sight
    My ears heard the dreaded roar
    A glimpse of silver fur
    A hint of silver stripes
    A wind so strong as it ran in front of us
    Inside I knew the end was near
    Inside I knew the time had come
    Inside however I still prayed

    He turned around
    He looked into my eyes
    He looked so familiar
    “I missed you”
    “I finally found you”
    “I must now die for you”
    Looking into his eyes
    Looking into his heart
    Looking as I remembered the last day we parted
    I remembered him now
    I remembered the times
    I remembered the love
    He brushed my hand with his
    He touched my cheek so delicately
    He laid his lips on mine

    His lips now turning cold
    His blood running on my hand
    His eyes so lifeless
    A smile on his face
    A last smile
    A last emotion
    Standing as his body fell
    Standing as I stared
    Standing as the black coal eyes stared at me
    A black wolf with a silver strip
    A monster in it’s eyes
    A blood thirsty creature deep inside

    Blood on it’s paws
    Blood on my hand
    Blood on his chest
    Now all three of us are connected

    Submitted on 2008-09-28 12:04:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      That ws an interesting twist you have here. I'm kinda a fan of wolvs so this one got to me. i even liked the structurer of the poem and the catchy story, very good.

    | Posted on 2008-10-08 00:00:00 | by faideddarkness | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Every..... written by jackz
    Fasade written by jackz
    prison written by ShyOne
    Love written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Records I written by Raphael
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Formal Jen written by Daniel Barlow
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    a safe place written by Daniel Barlow
    Shi written by ShyOne
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Cover written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Yes written by poetotoe
    untitled written by ShyOne
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    the testing of hypotheses written by Daniel Barlow
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]