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    dots Submission Name: I thought to be somewhere elsedots

    Author: Jimi James
    ASL Info:    24/m/somehwere
    Elite Ratio:    6.16 - 90/78/41
    Words: 81
    Class/Type: Poetry/Political
    Total Views: 804
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 584

       no, not buddenbrooks but similar

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI thought to be somewhere elsedots

    stealing from the stolen,
    attempt to go bowlin,
    asked graveyard ma,
    "whos drunkard pa?",
    said "anyway, day",
    wondered "stole clay?",
    bowlin with prima donna,
    sang of daylight when shadow shipped the balloonmans smile,
    aint no selling freedom for a while,
    stole the claymen,
    conned the payman,
    heard some "hey man"s,
    closed eyes for grey dance,
    laid hands on a ladyman;

    i was stolen from while being stolen.

    Submitted on 2008-09-29 18:41:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This is interesting.... Not sure how I feel about it but the piece itself draws me in. I like the title, "I thought to be somewhere else"... mainly because its a perfect description of how I feel " I thought to be somewhere else".

    Its my first time back, in eliteskills that is, and in writing you could say and its funny that the first thing that I come across is this. Its funny, and a little unclear, you get right into what you want to talk about. Actually it reminds me of Across the universe, yeah, because like the movie its a bit weird, again unconnected but in that mess of feelings and color it makes sense.

    I like how you say "ain't no selling freedom for a while" that really stuck with me.

    | Posted on 2008-09-29 00:00:00 | by ladydeathstrike | [ Reply to This ]

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